not been feeling quite right lately.

hope these months would just pause and not go on.
no O levels, more time to think ,
more time to get things straightened..
(including my hair . currently looks like a brush now )
more time to hang around
too bad it aint coming true.
a fewmore months .
its really fast.

anw, my art sucks
've got my ideas sorted.
but to many things, i dont noe where to begin.
no , i should i say , i dont know where to end.
this feeling sucks.
the feeling of emptiness.
in everything.
days have not been quite pleasant throught the week.
for me , for you , for pokes , for everyone else.
yeah the time spent that they had 's sort , but still, worth remembering.
its great to have 4 instead of 2 sometimes.
the great feeling of having both the guy and your pal.
and not having to worry bout anyone getting paranoid .
still , two will always be better.
plus , pokes will still be pokes.
the same pokes.
freaking out when she sees assuming insect eggshells.
and gnawing on her rice , asking me to have self-control over nothing ( i guess)
and asking me to stop with my nonsense when she herself started getting on my nerves.
haaa , pokes.

so yeah, gna BEG sis to take me to hillview area to take pics for prep.
or else , BEG her for her camera to come with me.
think its better.
heh.

okay , today had amath rem.
felt enlightened.
haha.
i forgot wad log meant .
or is
or was.
nevermind.
i was just enlightened.

hope i'll do well for Os.
and prolly thank dad for his countless motivations.
telling me to be prepared to join sis.
FYI , she took nursing.
not her results tho.
she really wanted that course.
odd.
she's kinda satisfied with powdering old folk's bums , changing their nappies
and of course her experiences in the op theatre.
how her tummy grumbled when some big guy went to tie his stomach.
she says fats looks like mango pudding.
yum (:

._.

okay bye.

SPAIDA.

i just saw one.
hyperventilated for a while.

why'd she ask?
why?



anw, today marked the end of zest band for me.
kinda sad and depressing.
but what to do.
its been placing pressure on my schedules.
prolly time to prioritise.
huimei said i would join after O levels.
i doubt so.
this coming friday gna return my instrument
and thweni's flute too.
byebye band.
i am going to officially lose my embouchure after today.
after being in band for 9 years.
dont plan to join band in tertiary either.
sick of it, and i dont wna start all over again .
even if i will, i wont tell them i was from band.
then go to wind section or smth.
-.-

needa collect stuff for ros tmr at CCK.
grr.










there is nothing wrong with me.


bye.

bye bye.

skipped sch today.
've got migrane.

MT O level LC was alright.
hope it helps me to pass.
im tired anw,
so..

byebye.

The weather seems rather 'exciting ' today.

maybe its PMS.
hah. hah. hah.

i suddenly feel like crap.
've been deeply pondering.
perhaps the fault lies in me.
to affect you , yes.
but not in a bad way.
why?

The week's been rather draining and demanding.
nothing seems to go right.
yet i have the urge to feel satisfied, with a smile.
for good's sake
okay , i am satisfied. (:
on one of the days , there was the DPA thing.
and that woke me up , to reality.
everyone was trying their to write all they could about their own acheivements and ever-ready to get into the course they want.
everyone , except me.
sat between JX and venus in the lab.
felt very , very wierd.
cos for once , i was called a lightbulb.
anw , jx applied for the dpa.
on his first attempt, he kinda lied abt his achievements cos he thought no prove was needed.
kinda funny

when friends ask me to just try it out, for luck.
my mind was completely blank.
i actually dont know where im heading to.
poly , yeah.
that's all i know.
questioning myself really sucks.
cos i end up cracking my brains out .
kinda decided officially.
to not care about the path im heading for.
which is so different from others.
just gna aim for the best , and start thinking after im done working hard.
of which i have to work on it, obviously.
all talk no action.
hope that's not the case.

art internal deadline's coming too.
im kinda scared.
wasn't band practice today.
cos there's some concert going on.
went to meet panda , umm
and his bro.
they went for their lessons.
went to eat after that
and watch movie with panda.
day and knight.
think it was kinda nice.
but wanted to watch toy story 3 more.
):


my back's been hurting for the past few days.
God bless my soul.
and my kidney.

gonna start swimming again soon.
ima spoil my hair .
poor hair ):
D;
i need some ligaments.

ok, mom says we're going ikea.
meatballs !
reminds me of olivia.
i miss band , her especially.
D:

going out with rosalind tmr.
i miss panda.

ok bye.

stupidly childish

or

childishly stupid.

wonder which fits me better.
...

ima bad person.
i skipped band today.
no mood , no mood.
need some quiet time alone now.
which is obviously quite impossible.
cos my parents are both home.
and its either i go to my room for alone time and feel bad
or try to spend some time with them cos i feel bad.
aint it the same.

anw, school's been ..
fast. this week.
monday was a holiday , and friday was sports day.
went to vivocity with panda yst
to watch eclipse.
okay luh , aint as sucky and violent and boring and gruesome as pokes said it would be.
and not as fantastic like all idiots watching the movie for that particular hot guy said.
had great time still.
salted popcornn.
yay, heehee.

soccer are for babies.
hmph.

okay bye

13 minutes to midnight.

today, it felt as though the whole world walked out on me , including you.






today was sis's great day.
she didnt get married.
she graduated.
pictures not here yet.
but soon.

well, left school early.
went there.
dad : i didnt know your eyes were so brown.
think he doesnt seem to understand the importance of colour contact lenses.
oh well.
went round taking pics for sis.
she throwing that dumb hat in the air and dad ends up catching it .
just doesnt link.
when she finally did a good one, the cam batt went flat.
at 6pm, other sis finally came.
went for dinner at grill-out.
everyone had steak , except me.

tmr's a holiday.
cos there's sports day.
and we aint required to be there.
so tata .

ihatemyself.

stabyoselveswiffacarrot.

im doomed.
im done with my MT o level oral.
that explains it right.

so yeah.
oral yesterday.
panda waited for me (:
really appreciated that, alot.

kinda cried a lil on my way to the examinar.
anw, i didnt even finish looking through the passage during the given 5 mins.
i read sloww.
i just suck luh.
which part of me makes me look like a malay anw.

after , went down and sat down with panda
and venus jx amanda and sean.
jx and venus look cute.
haha.
waited for pokes.
the oral passage was darn hard anw.

went to mos burger after that .
i ate mos bread.
woohoo.
._.
sorry.
today met up with panda for awhile.
then went for band.
band was kinda boring.
played asian selection 1 and some jap song.
then went to 7eleven with thweni and angeline .
bought milkk.
heh.
went back home with angeline after that.
she was abit mad i think.
either that or it was her usual self.
i couldnt tell.
hahaha.

monday's a holiday..
hoho.

okay , fingers dont feel like typing anmre.
so.
bye.