Merry Christmas!

Its boxing day alr.
time to beat ppl up.
okay maybe not,

today's a special day.


3years ago,
on this special day.
somehow carved upon my memories.
Reminiscing on when i heard you sang for the first time.
and spent that last christmas with you.
And that last hug.
I still miss you , grandma.





This year is an emo christmas.
okay ,
i spent my first few hours talking to sean and joanne on msn .
Practically talking crap?
Hmm, then i opened my present.
Who cares about boxing day.
heh.
I built a DIY 3D Sydney oprera house.
Test of my patience, really.
i started the base and everything.
then when i started doing the structure, i realised the base was wrong.
dismantled it.
and when i thought i finished , i looked at my toe
there was a piece stuck to my toe.
from the base.
urgh.
very *(#@)*)(@*#(@)
but i completed it at 3am.
heh.
great sense of satisfaction ah.
then i knocked out.

didnt actually feel the christmas spirit tho.
i turned on the radio, emo christmas songs.
thanks.
went to grandma's house for gathering.
ate dinner there and mixed around.
really miss everyone there.
okay , well .
nvrm
went home and rest.
at 9pm , went to JP with my family to watch guiliver's travels.
kinda funny , but was just average ah.
tired too.


Christmas aside,
this week was a great stepping stone i should say.
Cos i started work.
okay.
Last sunday, went to dad's colleague's house.
he had 2 dogs.
friggin cute.
one's a miniature oversized schnauzer
and another's a miniature siberian huskey.
just what i wanteddddd.
darn cute.
they were gaying tho.
eww.
Haha, elder sis and mom's first reaction - RUN.
lol.
they didnt even step into the house.
me and second sis had a great time.
i played with sparky, the miniature SH.
i want oneee.

Monday went to work with rosalind.
never woken up that early in a long time, 4 am.
and never been so tired so far.
Felt like dying after 8 hours.
Gosh.

This monday the cycle starts all over again.
Havent been keeping track of time lately.
I lost count of the dates and just happen to realise today's boxing day.
26/12.
Like 15 days +- till results?
Scared...

Okay im tired.

and i miss panda.

okay bye

just remembered i had a blog.
woo!


lot of stuffs going on.
i think.
last friday panda came back to spore.
we had movie marathon at my house
with sean , manda , jx and friend.
i forgot his name.
nvrm.
yeah.
watched movies till nearly 7am .
wow, wierd shows
nacho libre, hachiko, the expendibles
i forgot alr
oh , how to train your dragon.
a lil
then knockout alr.
yep.
kinda enjoyed it.

lawd, the past few weeks were butt warming.
literally.
sat at home, stone , wake up, ate, teevee, slack
and stone.
now my body clock's screwed up.
i'll only be able to sleep at 6 am
and wake up at 12 plus or 2
haha
when i start work, ima die.
i need to wake up at 5
so technically it leaves me -1 hours of sleep.
i guess today is about the last day im going to do that.

me: i got a job at sheratonnn !
dad: better not break plates hor
me: wad??
dad: oh u nt doing dishwashing. okay.
me: working with rosalind la.
dad: both of you better not break plates then.

i feel like dying.
so much for encouragement aye.

went with rosalind to sheraton yst
they said you need an interview.
okay not,
basically we just waited for them to give instructions.
then we headed to vivo.
i miss the bread there.
hah hah hah.
celebrated our first job with beer.
er hmm, i mean root beer.
thanks.

i spent the last two hours lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.
it felt great.
extremely.
the feeeeel of procrastination came back.
exactly. i miss it.
the pre-o level periods were like that.
before i study i'd stone by my bed and stare.
like hah, 5 more mins.
i dont get to do that anymore.
life is ... life?
just do what you gta do.
maybe cos there's no studying.
studying = procrastination .
in my dictionary .
More relieved than dissapointed tho.
I used to spend more time in school than on my own bed.
My wrists twitch
My back throbs
My butt hurts
Now its different.
When i close my eyes i see the blinking keyboard cursor
or the patterns on my bed.
nope , not anymore.
Tired of waiting.
Yep.

Been starting to listen to old songs ago.
not old , old.
just old , for me.
like 5-10 years back.
i loike.
Okay ima rot and die now.


bye

Nerina Pallot - 'Sophia'

<- play it.

miss this song much.
i feel rotten.
very rotten.

start from last thursday alright.
Pokes ( Joanne) , han (stalker) and amanda came to my house.
to watch 2 movies ,
both harry potter.
me and manda ate salt.
loads of it.
any moment now and im going to die of hypertension.
pokes ate her seaweed
and han drank some bitter grape juice and she found it alright.

friday my dad had a barbecue
and yeah, elder sis and i were forced to do free labour.
bought marshmallows.
aint the same without you.
but yeah, i stoned and the marshmallow caught fire and poofed
the charcoal ate it.
whatever.

on sunday , i went for zest!wind's practice .
at last.
huimei and mr hoe werent there tho.
i had mom. ( angeline)
talked to her.
guess she didnt believe i had problems too.
must think im some happy moron and whatever,
too bad.
i had koi.
eww i must say.
didnt get sugar rush tho.
she asked me to think about what she said and stuff.
well , yeah. mom's a nice person.
thanks mom.

past two weeks havent been real good.
yeah, loosen up i must.














when the world's crashing down and i cant bear the cross,
will you be there with me until the light comes pouring through?

i dont want to let go.

i cant.

i cant bear to see it happening.
why?

it just hurts so much every night.

the pain just escalates and escalates.









maybe it's time to let go.

hurts.
hurts real bad.
heard your voice and my heart sank
yearn to tell you how much i missed you.

the depth of it is not as simple as you think it is.
its not a matter of telling you,
but how aware you are.

deep breaths.


hurt