Under the thick quilts and over the study table,
i've laid in pain ,
much intensity of the pain and low level of tolerance.
this piece of art falling at last minute,
throwing my plans in dissray and getting back on track
with the motivation of ...
cookiesss.


IM DONE WITH MPM.
:D




finally i've managed to sit still for an hour.
*pats.
so proud of myself

09/06/09



lets start from le beginning.

ok i swear im skipping the sec1 valentines me and jess look like a balloon picture.
okay.
this pic was taken when we were in sec 3.
thats da, yesh, more hair .
typical june hol band prac.
i was spamming pics and yeah
hannan stole da's trombone , i took hannan's FHorn and da took my trumpet.
haha look at hannan omg.
da sucks at trumpet tho.
hahaha.
whoops.
great times.

anw, i lurbs MARENG tutor.
he finished the 2 hour session in 39mins
just by taking attendance and telling us we're doomed for the test when hols end.
yep.
we're doomed.
):
i've got so many awesome plans for hols..
like ...
ummm...............
uuuuuuuuuuuuummmm.
go back to GJ.
wait for MEL camp in july.
wait for SPSB's korea trip.
wait for everything.
and go out
and movie marathonnnnnnnnn with jess, mah pokes and han.
hmmm.
currently im dead.
ok i should get back to work.
heeehee.
feel like hols started alr.
i practically stoned for the whole accounting lesson.
._.

okay bye.

okay, i shall upload one picture everytime i post from now on.
at least one in a day's post.

regardless of how long it's been.



i miss everything yaw

sorry nas, i took it from fb.
hope u dont mind.




i miss the o lvl period now somehow.
the feeling of knowing that you're gna die soon,
but ahhh nvrm, later.
haha
that pic was taken during the ''photoshoot''
hahaha, we were just fooling around.
end up nas really did use it for his o level.
i rmb han came down halfway cos she was walking around skipping f&n coursework.
haha and khoi was in topless, then in a jacket, with a singlet outside.
was damnn funnny.
oh, and with a lollipop
hahas
damn it , it was damn fun.
but that was the last time uh..
):
oh well.

ok so im stuck with facc hw now.
haha yst i was stuck at MPM , one qn of it.
for like 6 hours.
awesome me.
ok sis's at home nw.
gna ask her to teach me.
or at least gimme answers , idc.
hmm, okay bye.

OMG CHEETOSSSSSS.













:D

okay omg.

yst i showed stuffys my kindergarten photo.
the ._. wan.
okay i know, all my pictures are ._.
but thats the most ._.
then he laughed like hell.
stupid (*&(*@(#@
haha then amanda saw it.
omg she say i look exactly the same.
cos we knew each other since young.
and like yeah. she say my exp forever the same.
O:
:(
omg i feel like crying.
why ? why you no change my face.

ok...
oh ya
i know i blogged yst and everything..
but like. i got goldfish memory?
so yep, i went to vivo yst with da.
we wanted to watch movie but didnt.
anw, ended up slacking.
and we passed by GJ.
saw syahidah and JH.
she ignore me wahlao.
sad ttm ):
just because she owe me gongcha cheyy..
haha.
i miss GJ tho.
oh yeahh.
and pokes said GJ called her a month ago.
actually she kinda submitted her app like in january.
so she was like ()*@)*##@()#
hahaha.

okay guess wad.
im still stuck at mpm.
after 4 hours.
i hate my life.
TT
25 marks omg.
feels like SS.
but online.
i got low self esteem now.
cos my SS sucked for o lvl.
ok cos i spot wrong qn.
k fine. get over it woman.
GET A HANG OF YOURSELF.

i am calm.
k bye

omg?




okay so i woke up at 2.
and watched redcliff2
coolio.
i dont understand a crap they are talking.
and i didnt know caocao was a warrior thingy.
i tot it was just some JJ song..
haha im smart.
._.

im dead.
idk how to do mpm assignment...
okay.
im dead.
):

oh ya oh ya.


today at 8am i got a msg.
I QUALIFIED FOR MEL CAMPPP!!
(:
its on 11-13 july.
taking super star virgo with 7 other classmates.
to penang and phuket.
stuffys is included!


yayyy.
hmmm..


cant wait cant wait.





and and and


SPSB's going to south korea in sept!
on my birthdayy zomgg
haha.
19-25th.
this year's gna be a good year.
well, at least im trying to convince myself that at the moment.
okay okay.

i will last through the year.
confirm.




confirm confirm.


plus chop.


cute heartshaped ones.


damn it

im so freaking tired.
1 more week.
just. 1 . more. week.
omgomgomgomgomg.
i need holidays badly.

exhausteddddddd.
feels like school just started or smth and im still new .
but i sorta feel sick of school.
yuckkkkkkk.


i wna movie marathon with han they all i swear.
badly.
i want a day to forget everything.
but shitzzzzzzzz tests are after hols.
i feel like crying ):
i dont really understand POA.

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i shall slp late tonight.

hehhehheh
yaawnnss

was doing my marine engineering quiz online.
facebook was opened and i was distracted.
so i thought hmm... i shall be hardworking, so i shall close my fb.
didnt realised it was TABSS.
i closed the entire window ( both tabs)
me quiz goneeee..
nooo... 33 qns. i alr did 9.
-.-
1 hour alr eh
eh wahlao.
the world doesnt like me to be hardworking.
i know right.



i want to meet up with hannnnn
and jess
and my pokes
and behbeh.
we're gna POTC marathon idk.
9 hours straight with no pee breaks.
k forget abt the last part.
but...
zomggg i cant waitttt.

OMG i can finally blog.


i missed u blog.
not really.
been trying for the past hour or so.
stupid verification thingy.
for a moment i thought i lost this blog forever.
cos im like using my old hotmail for this blog,
and i dont have that password cos it got hacked
and i had to create a new account just for this blog.
i hate my life ):

talking to stuffys on msn now.
hahaha
okay nw i've logged in,
i have no mood to blog alr.
ah, life..

hallelujah~
beauty in the moonlight.

today is so freaking emo.
ive been listening to totally emo songs.
the empty feeling sets in once again.
ah, damn it.
its so true when they say you are your greatest enemy.
not cos u compete to yourself abt ur results whatever.
cos the things i think to myself are really crap.
things i've never imagined i would.

really empty today .
i hate this feeling.
school was as usual.
emo, rather lonely.
stonning, what more?



hate it when you lie.
hate it when you tell others and make me feel like a fool.
wait.
or maybe , i am a fool.


get a hang of yourself woman.

im on the comp.
again.

stayed up till like 4am last night.
cos i started playing tetris.
some ass influenced me.
hahaha.
felt so much better after playing,
seriously.


k so i've got alot of work to do.
i swear i hate POA.
):
im like awake after eating cookies.
but i open the text book..
then yawnnnnsss
k that sucks.
the people in class are so competitive anw.
and i feel like im losing out,
as usual.
so yeah, gotta work a lil harder.
ok alot actually.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
got school tmr omg.
and if anyone realised, tmr is the first whole week we've had since sch started.
its always fri hol , fri hol, then mon holiday, then tues.
this coming week's gna be a whole week.
praise me. i just realised.
nooooooooooooooo.
and theres some stoopid gen-ed field trip.
at botanical gardens, ohmylawd.
i hate flowers ):
they make me cry.
ok its not true.
i get to skip MPM tho.
for an hour.
TT

now im tired..

yawn.
k bye

'' k u are my motivation, i shall start studying tmr.''

after i wake up at 2 pm.


ha. ha. ha.


i spent the whole day lazing arnd today.
tmr's gna be like that as well.
im awesomeee
awefully lonesome.

haha i feel like laughing to myself.
and eating cookies.

210511.



k, its not abt the world ending.
._.

so yeah..
mixed feelings now.
i feel wierd..
and lost.
and .. idk, damn it.

okay lets talk abt thurs.
i mean i will talk abt thurs.
thurs was A.W.E.S.O.M.E
like, awfully awesome.
not lonesome.
1A 01/02 went to poly marina.
and we did le jetty jumppppp!
i think its the most fun part of the entire course.
ok, so it was real funnnnn.
apart from the stinking sea water, and the floating bread bag me and sebas saw,
and the floating cigarettes.
it was great!
we first jumped off the jetty (duh),
with our shoes on.
i wore my last year sch shoe!
planning to paint it black for work at GJ .
haha, my current-painted other sch shoe's giving way.
yep, alot of ppl didnt know how to swim
and the china girls were like screaming.
idk, i think it was too early in the morning,
i could think, my brain wasnt like functioning in the panic mode.
sebas was infront of me,
the instructor was like talking to him halfway on hw to secure his jacket properly and stuff and he just jumped without listening.
was really LOL
and i realised i was next .
O__O
i just jumped, it felt so slow.
till like halfway i felt like i was committing suicide and i think i was scared
and splash, i reach alr.
-.-
freakin salty i tell yer.
my eyes burned.
oh ya. omg.
i just with my hair band.
after i jumped, it was gone
):
):::::::::::::::::::
my fav hairband.
ok i only have one hairband, plus its just plain black.
loner.
who cares.
my hairband..
and i thought my shoes were gone as well.
haha, nope they werent.
swim to the liferaft and got pulled up by the guys.
literally pull.
were supposed to like step on the rope thingy first.
that guy just pulled me and i got thrown aboard.
ok, it was real fun.
there was a small leak in the raft.
and we all screamed and everything.
haha, but no effect ah, it was nth.
then everyone started jumping and stuff.
k, it was real funny.
cos the guys had to paddle near the shore .
but we were turning rounds.
hahaha.
had fun slacking in the water as well.
cos we were supposed to form a circle etc.
who cares.
haha.
i didnt become tan at all.
wahlaoooooooo.
i miss my sec 2 skin.
now my skin's just real dry , thats all.
amanda spammed herself with sunblock etc,
but i still look the same state as her
omg, the bathing part was crap i swear.
i double bathed when i went home.
and i had to go back for band at night.
TT
so tired.
yst sch was alright.
had 2 lessons,
then 2 1/2 hr break.
and then like... 1 hour of lesson , supposedly 2 hours.
there was this sort of carnival downstairs
and we could hear abit of the music.
i think the tutor ended early cos he wanted to go.
he was like, u noe guys, there's a lot of fun stuff below... like fishing.
then there was awkward silence .
lol.
then class ended.
we were like wth?
i went home to bathe and stuff and met da for dinner.
he gave me a panda pencil case.
like super childhood.
then u can put ur pencils neatly, and everything.
haha!
but i wna use my sheep.
):
k, i'll use the panda for polymarina and everyone shall mock at me
and i shall.. umm, smile.

classmates say i look emo.
thats like the norm.
all over again.


kkkk
bye

omg
wth
wtf
lol
bbq
zzz
ahh









okay. this is one of the stupidest blunders ever.
haha,
i've been talking to darryn for the past 1 hr 2o min
and i just realised its his birthday.
guilty ttm.


):


im so mean.


okay, happy birthday darryn!





lol

shit happens, seriously.


everything bad comes at once.
that sucks.

anw, dad left some chemicals under the bathroom sink.
its calcium chloride powder.
REAL calcium chloride.
the corosive one.
k, he said thirsty hippo and stuff, its all calcium chloride.
so he brought back from work a few months ago.
yst the floor became slipperly and everything.
it felt soapy, yet i couldnt wash it off my feet.
it was like... grease.
today my skin started to corrode and stuff.
my whole foot skin literally peels.
and my arms have cuts and everything.
kinda burns.
been wondering why and it freaking hurts.

then i found out an hour ago.
the calcium chloride was kinda too corrosive,
the plastic bottle which it contained in gave way
and yeah, leaked.
and thus the floor.
fml.
i feel like kicking my dad in the arse.
he's my dad.
and he's overseas.
i love you dad, i love you.
no i meant it.














SHIT.

i hate it when songs hit me right in the nail.



and its the same song we used to share.
yet, where are you?

'' i wished i was grass, so that i could be cut, and stepped over again and again from the pain''




why does this hurt so much.

k today's like one of my worst days of my life.

seriously.

hate it when u crash my hopes.
i've had enough of it.
enough of the torture u inject to me.
this shall be it.
i shall make my stand.
i will not let u step over me ,
and make use of me.
it seems as though u care, i dont know.
but it really hurts alot.
too much for me to bear .
i hate this, i hate everything.
i wish everything would end , but i cant let go.
i can no longer live without you i must say.
what about you?
will u ever feel the same way, too?
will u even notice if im missing from your picture?
or are the colours already there, even when im not with you.

on friday, u made me feel like a princess.
u listened to me, and told me .
i felt it, not today, not anymore.
i realised it was a big mistake,
and i truly like to take back every single thing i've said to you that day.
i feel so stupid.
i feel like im so desperate.
i've been stupid , at least.
i'll not repeat it.
i feel so tired of trying.
still, there's the other part of the story from you.
true enough, i do feel guilty.
but feel broken, at the same time.
and miss you as well.

ireallyhatethispoint.



there isnt even a point.

fuckmylife.

ssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppp.

im real tired now.
but cant seem to slp anymore.
came back from camp last night,
as in 14 hours ago.
SPSB camp.
was fun!
haha
i made friendddss!
finally.
okay, like...
the word Xi Yu and new friends, do not go together.
at least it did yst.
ppl there were generally nice.
so yeah.
haha
night games was...
umm
fun!
i guess.
cos i was exempted from 2 concoctions
like umm, soyasauce + vinegar +prawn paste+ fish sauce and whatever.
it really smelt bad.
okay yeah.
really wierd stuff happened.
like, i kissed a girl
and i liked it (:
O_O
haha, not really.
i think...
and umm, i had to put kaya and smear it on someones mouth
and lettuce on armpits.
yuck.
oh yes, and i ate coffeepowder with blue colouring etc.
my GL's awesome.
haha
ohya, da lent me his slpy bag on friday.
and he followed me home and back to SP.
(:


the camp ends today.
but i went home last night.
i ought to be home by last night.
and sis was like yah, yah i confirm will fetch u home.
then i spam called her and she was asleep.
idiot.
ended up going home myself.
i bathed like twice and waited for my hair to dry.
by then it was like 4.
i knocked out.
K O
cool.


its been long since i slept immediately.

k ..
so now im dead.
cos i have homework etc
and i need to study cos i cant seem to catch up on certain subjects like POA.
when ppl explain to me then i'll understand,
but when i get home i just stare .
y'know , y'know?
then i'll walk around the house like a security guard.
then i'll eat biscuits.
and watch tv
and on the comp to fb and blog
and wahhlaaaaahhhhhhhhh
i forgot about my homework.
life..
tuesday's a holiday!
been wanting holidays since forever.
bt having holidays in poly kinda sucks.
cos u hve to make up for the lessons lost.
not like sec sch..
so unfair.
i kinda miss miss cheong eh.
yes. the physics teacher.
the screamy, unreasonable one.
she's quite nice actually lor
except when she's hungry.
gen-ed tmr.
i hate gened.
its like general knowledge,
just that they magnify the entire thing and make it to a big issue
and u have to answer qns.
its as bad as MPM actually.
yah, stupid MPM.
theory theory theory.
the entire lesson talks abt managing ppl
and u need theories to manage ppl.
thats not managing myself even seriously.
i feel like crying.
and the teacher is like,
if u do not like this subject, or do not want to manage ppl in future,
u might as well be a postman. because its an easy job. 9-5 everyday.
wth.
whennnn i grow up, i want to be a postman.
umm, nvrm.
ya, and i spend alot in poly.
my allowance is not enough, yet i cant work.
TT
i miss work.
i miss the ppl there.
and i miss feeling lika boss when i go out,
cos i has moneh.
just a lil bit.
bt whatever.

im gna watch pirates of the carribean later.
siaooo 545 until 930?
im supposed to study.
erhmm.
haha, i can always try multi-tasking.
im sucha liar.
):
but POTC- at world's end eehhhh!!!!!
i watch for the music.
omg, i miss BVMB ):
i miss playing POTC during the concert in sec 3 end.
i miss playing first.
i miss being heard.
i cant really hear myself playing at SPSB.
too many ppl, haha
not the point.
IM GNA WATCH POTCCCCCCCCCCC
i miss the singapore , and driving part.


k im still tired.
got lessons at 8am tmr.
i shall be a pri sch kid.
i will sleep at 10 tonight.
(:

k bye

okay im home alr, fast yaw.

just enlightened my own mood by reading older posts.
as in, real old posts.
from like sec 1 .
haha
i'll be LOLZZZZ
or hahaxz XD
-.-
kkkkk
but the way i posted was really funny.
its like reading my own mind with the voice in my head,
just that its a diff me.
haha so cute
*shyyyyy
eww
i got influenced by sebas
he's just like han, seriously.
everytime he types smth, he praises himself
and then *shhhhyyyy
just that he doesnt put that irritating bunny on msn even if ppl's pissed.
._.


went to poly marina today.
threw th rope thingy?
sry , goldfish memory.
k yeah
strong winds in the morning,
and everyone's hair was all over.
hmm
sebas and darryn borrowed my hair clip.
so prettyyy
eventually they gave up cos it rained.
umm, yeah.
had theoryy
sleepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

ok i have to go back to sch for band later.
there's band camp tmr.
omg...
TT
i hate camps.
i'll be..
ok not homesick.
i just hate camps.
k bye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

cant .
hold .
on .
much .
longer .


cramps are killing me.
im like chewing on my own arm,
okay wth
dad came home for awhile just a moment ago.
he opened the door and saw me with my laptop.
and was, )(*#@)(*#)(@*)@#
why u nvr go to sch????
for like 5 mins.
until i told him.
and he was like ....
-.-
k , im eating expired cornflakes now.
its tastes like..
ya, not cornflakes.
ive got no school yawww.
going out later.
cant wait cant wait.
i feel so sleepy.
i slept for like 10 hours alr.
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
and i ate biscuit.
rmb rum said i look like the xiaoxiongbinggan when i was in pri6
i hate my life.

lol k bye

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

i'd rather you didnt promise me yourself.
its so far worse, now that you've gone back on what you said then.
i ..
hate it.


ok today was a really really long day in school
really really really really long
school started way in the morning for tutorials
and i didnt fall asleep in any of the lessons!
ok la, i dont.
as in , i didnt lean myself on the table
yeah.. cos of some stupid reason.
firstly i dont wna fail stupid quizes again.
and yeah, i found out yst.
like cos im still in the process of making friends.
i know its been a month, cmon im slow.
whtever.

k so, 2 concequetive ppl asked yst.
'eh? xiyu? who's that? ohhh.. the one always slp in class wan uh''
so ima pay attention.
at least for the moment...
and yeah, stupid tummy decided to be a bitch on a long day.
i had gastric.
major.
im such a loser urgh.

ended school at like 5, went to clementi
and went back to school for band
today was sectionals.
was alright.
so freaking exhausted.
thank lawd i dont have sch tmr.

its currently 1.37am.
i have been trying to blog since 12 plus
so many ppl keep spamming me on fb and msn.
haha.

ok im meeting rosalind tmr!!!
yayyyyyy
we gna parrteehh like old times.
im not so sure abt the quantity.
but she wants pizza.
idk, im gna spam apple juice like last time.
haha the 1L carton of juice yaw.
cant wait to see herrrr!

''do i seem like a pervert to you?''
*awkward silence.*


hmm.
okay, i had school today
and im kinda , super de-motivated.
some quizes for the marine engineering module
i failed one of it..
i forgot to save my answers.
and like, the last quiz, alot of ppl got 100%
i got 80+
i suck.
i dont wanna be a loser like sec sch again.
this sucks.
gta concentrate in class .
gta concenntraatee in class
ok i msn-ed in class today
with a new friend.
quite fun.
but yep.


''oh na na, what's my name?''
''ROSALIND SHUDDUP''
lol




its been days, and its feels like months.
fish .

i really want to take back the words that i said.
its just too much for me to handle.
all that's on my mind , is this.
im filthy.
filthier than anyone else.

i wouldnt say i dont deserve this.
but i dont want to deserve this.
when will i see you again?
it really hurts.

no point in talking things out,
you're just hiding the truth from me.




today's saturday .
yay.
ok not really.
i just got cheated.
cos of the darn election thing, there wont be school on monday!
for pri and sec sch students only....
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
k stupid.
)=
i want holiday.

anw, ppl say i look abused.
haha.
cos of the multiple blue-blacks from the SP dover yatch
and my ulcer on my lower lips.
had school yst.
i wouldnt say its awesome uh.
cos like... went to sch at 8.30
ended lesson and 1030 and had 3.5 hours of break.
wth right.
so new friends and i went all the way to bugis.
to catch a movie and like, everyone smuggled kfc and stuff in.
i had my salted popcorn, finally.
hoohoo
yep, so we watched the roommate.
i felt so paranoid after watching it.
stalker.
so scarry.
ok, then we were in the cinema ourselves.
like, 6 ppl.
and some guy watching alone.
being me, i dont close my eyes if there's some scary part.
ok, i didnt know it'll be freaky.
i screamed.
haha, been so long since i've had fun the theatre
then went back to sch for 2 hour of lessons again.
sleepy ah.
TT
i feel so restless these days.
sometimes its really awkward.
i keep thinking and thinking.
then i'll stone and think of u
awkward when like, im on the bus and i start thinking.
and i get teary and ppl like stare at me.
and i dont know how to pretend to yawn.
ok im stupid.

got work tmr.
yay.
im gna see rosalind.
thats good.
there's no excitement in typing , but yeah.
ok.
i'll add a haha to it
hahahaha

i need sleep.
im gna die..
I NEED SLPPPPP

*huffs and puffs.

hmph.

darn tired right now.
ok i just napped for an hour.
doesnt seem enough.

went to poly marina today.
woke up freakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkin early.
took bus there by meself.
omg. im so proud of myself!
pats head*
ok not really.
i stopped at the wrong stop and walked like 20 min.
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
took the SP dover yatch for practical today.
quite fun .. but,
when another boat past, the whole yatch swings.
and i yeah i think i felt sick.
so yeah, went there for an hour
and we took turns to steer the ship!
hoohoo,
i feel so illegal.
its more awesome than a car.
ok so we theory.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
k so the guys sitting behind and beside thought i was an emo-er.
darryn asked why i put eyeliner.
haha no la, nvr slp enough oni.
my eyes were literally TT, i swear.
yeah then they borrowed my itouch.
to like check girls out, cos one of them's a stalker.
sick
i got band in an hour..........

like 2nd practice.
abit scared, and i know im gna be real sad there.
cos i dont think mom will come.
and i wont be able to hear myself.
even if i scream.
TT

even if i cant, i wanna look out for u in every mini way.

oh . my. gawd.

his head shines.

hmm.

bright guy.

k so,

saturday was his birthday.

and on friday,

we decided to celebrate with his friends.

yep, sean jx tw han and tan

i dont have the pics , so yeah.

sorry

eww.

i mean han.

whoops.

haha, kidding.

da's favourite umm.

prawn wanton

-.-

its french ravioli actually.

jokes aside.

not really feeling too well today.

and yst

and yst yst.

was with da at msia with sean tw and jx

and his friends.

and now ive got stomach flu.

life really sucks.

when smth goes wrong,

everything goes wrong.

does that make sense?

i cant think damn it.

i didnt even sleep a wink last night cos it felt so freakin uncomfortable and i kept waking up to barf.

i barf-ed like 9 or 10 times today.

and my dad made forced me to go to sch cos he thought i was lazy.

reverse pshychology thingy.

like, ''its ok, nvrm wan. u dont go to school not my problem alr''

im like FOOOOOOOO

so i just got out of bed , showered and left the frikkin house.

couldnt even concentrate during lessons

and some irritating guy kept disturbing.

plus, the first lesson was marine engineering module and we had to walk around.

my face was literally O_O

i swear i felt so dizzy i could die.

lessons were from like 8 till 530pm.

and i went home to bathe and everything and came back to school for band.

and ive got ulcer from puking.

like, the bottom of my lips.

so when i played the instru , my lips hurt like hell.

oh and yeah, i had my first band practice today.

its like.......

i dno what to say.

just wna say i miss BVMB, alot.

like 1 1st, 1 2nd , 1 3rd trumpet.

so nice.

and then at SP there were like 25 trumpeters.

i couldnt even hear myself, and eventually gave up a lil.

like just fingered the notes and stuff.

gta adapt.

k i feel like crap now.

cant my day be any better.

ok wait, the day's over.

i promised him not to say fml anymore.

so yeah.

URGH.

i feel like crying.

.

..

...

....

.....

....

...

..

.

things feel so different right now.

as if everything's changed.

i've planned it for months ,

and the day finally came.

it just passed like that, with no memories whatsover.

i dont even think you were moved.

u forgot everything that happened .

i feel so estranged from you.

your friend was right, you live in your own world.

far different from mine.

why did i even bother trying.

why.

i love you han.