cant get used to being stuck in that happiness?


well, try me.
not literally.


i woke up so early today.
at like 10am?
okay its not that early.
but i couldnt sleep, tossing and turning last night.
and if know me, i'd prolly sleep a couple more hours on such a saturday.
and tomorrow, and the day after.
this feeling is so sick.
well, at least now i've got the space i want.


some guy talked to me on fb last night.
giving me the wrong advices and everything.
idk, just feels wrong.
afterall, he wasnt truthful AT ALL when he was with my bestfriend.
and the kind of advice he gave me ,
was that every other guy would be the same as him,
and make the same decisions, lying other everything to get their own time.
part of me didnt believe anything.
yet , i thought through everything.
i dont know.


if i'd attempt to be thick,
i'd say '' dont mistake my kindness for my weakness''
i beg to differ, i'd like to correct kindness, for stupidity.
i really ponder over how much stupid-er i can get honestly.
saying , only you can make me blue .
its like putting myself into a pit of fire. plain stupid.
yet i still do it.
still, giving is better than getting.
its actually the willing receiver .
im so damn thick. and stupid.
i mean, if you were worth crying for,
you wouldnt even let me shed a tear right?
imbecile me.


headed to the gym.
how ironic that i felt like the treadmill itself.
my life just goes on and on
and no matter how hard i'll try or push myself forward,
i'll still be on the same spot and the end of the day
its a matter of choosing whether to stay at that spot or not.
im struggling. real bad.


practically threw my whole day away yesterday.
not gonna waste precious time before i start hyperventilating again.


everything's gna be,
well.. fine.
just fine.