The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.





humans are selfish.
i am human, so ?
yesterday could have been my worst day, ever.
in my entire 17 years and 1 month.



i dont know, i had a bad night.
had some nightmare of which i was on the cruise.
the same cruise, same life we took.
same deck. everything , same.
it felt like a re-enactment.
except for the part when i was left alone.
you can prolly feel it in my bones already right.
woke up and felt cranky.





so many things happening here.
why has to be me.
i have a heart too, like everybody else.
why me?
i feel so frustrated.
its as if there's some conspiracy against ,
i dont know? me?


i feel like im gna explode.
i feel angry. and i cant vent it out.
i cant even smile to tell others im alright.







i dont know.
everyone's leaving, no one cares, or you're taking everything away.
its an all-gone-wrong situation.
how do i even reach that stage of epiphany,
where i'll finally understand why these series of events happen to me,
not little by little, not one by one.
but all at the same time.
even if you had to throw some barriers or obstacles to me,
you wouldnt throw it at my face will ya?


im getting tired of this.
its really dramatic, i dont believe its true.
and now what?
even my passion's gone?


i wish i could tell you everything.
i wish you'd have that basic understanding of whats going on.
didnt even get a wink of sleep last night,
because i've been thinking.
what can i do other than cry?
i wish i didnt have to deserve this sometimes.






Granted, just an infinitely more mild version of the intended impact of that phrase.
everything fades, memories fade.
bullshit.
i hate everything.










please save me?