we broke up.




feels like how i put it was easy huh.
i swear upon my own life it wasnt.
exactly 25 months today, i stood by you.
thinking my whole world was perfect whenever we went through good times.
and i was one stupid bitch and fml sort whenever we quarrelled.
things will never be the same, bear that in mind.
because you're so longer the man i knew from the beginning.
and im not that happy girl i used to be .
never meant to be i guess.
i know you're fumed,
and my heart still hurts for you.
but i'd rather let go.
it would be better for you, and both of us.


in addition, i handed in my resignation at gloria jeans yst.
it was rosalind's last day as well.
think rum was at the verge of killing us.
i dont know what to think.
i felt bad, yet.
no point staying there any longer.
everything's changed, the environment, the people.
we dont belong there anymore.
just like how i no longer belong to him.
rosalind and i are going to elope the week after next.
i wish i'll never come back.
alright, being a lil dramatic, we're eloping for a day or so.

feel like im gna burst into tears anytime.
but my dad is here.

i looked through all the cards you gave me since 2009.
it's so different from what you are now.
you seem like a stranger to me now.
the complexity of it, now deepens.
what we once used to share in common are now differences,
of which we struggle to hang on.


the amount of hurt, made me think twice, thrice.
liar.


i dont feel like i love you anymore.

true happiness lies within.



on the day you left, you took it with you.
i havent felt that happiness i've had since then.
not now. its feeling like, not ever.
not forgetting yet.
idk why.


and like screwed up problems.
screw everything.


all guys are jerks.


the only man a girl can trust is her dad.

OMO ! OMO !

WARNING THIS MAY BE LONG, SUPPOSEDLY*.
*depends



OKAAII.
so after 7 days, im finally back from korea.
bet you missed me . ikr.
*forces you to nod your head*
okay, i've made lotsa friends.
ok, at least more than just my original 1 friend.
lol, not funny hor.

and during the whole trip,
i only took a pathetic 115 pics.
1 pic of my own palm.
k.
like pathetic cos i was lazy, and everyone's shooting the same stuff.
with their DSLRs. and i look at mine, and like put it back in my pocket.
yeah, compared to jeremy who had at least 700+++ photos.
-.-

so, my elder sis, dad and mom sent me off that day.
and like my luggage was the smallest in the entire 83 ppl strength band.
im not kidding.
hahhaa. yes, i will explain the extreme troubles i experienced while re-packing.

k so i checked-in,
and like suddenly made friends.
started hanging out with the tubeess
tuba peeps.
bunch of happy go lucky ppl,
really had awesome time with them.
hahas
nora, jingyi, M, gris, moose,nelson,jeremy,faris,hongyong and zac


k i fooled around,
made nora push me around cos the walk in was friggin long.
its was damn fun.

crap i skipped a pic.
this was at the hotel on the first night.
KO ah, sorry. too tired


in the flight, i sat with zhenyang.
all trumpet peeps.
i got the window seat. so lucky :D
k it was midnight flight,
i watched pirates of the carribean, and then knocked out.
holy crap, they woke us up at like 4am for breakfast.
who eats breakfast?!
and who eats breakfast at 4am.
lol i was damn sleepy, i was nibbling on the soft roll.
and i feel asleep.-.-
didnt even touch the muffin and main course.
hahahaa


okayy, so first day, we arrived.
went to eat first.
like practically kimchi everyday,
of which i havent touched one before up till nw.
haha. and like pork everyday.
jeez. its so sick, i just ate plain rice on the last day.
and, if i see more pork like now, i'll hurl.
thats hw bad it is.

ok, so after that we went to the DMZ(de militarise zone)
friggin cool, bt friggin slpy.
no snaps allowed there.
its the border between north and south korea thingy.
so cool that i got to experience it myself.
we even went to the 3rd tunnel wth.
its like 175m deep down tunnel
and we had to walk/roll/crawl down the steep slope.
and crawl back up. i swear everyone died going back up.


okay, this is my hotel room view the next morning.
so naise right.
suppose to be a ski resort as u can see,
bt its nt winter. so yeah , wasted ):

ok i was kinda lying about MY hotel room view.
you see, i was supposed to share rooms with wj and vanessa.
bt jumped to bunk with nora and jingyi.
i made the right choice.
they had awesome view.
and 2 bedssss.
heres the thing.
the others were afraid i'll get bullied or smth and they'll make me slp on the floor.
turns out i slept on 2 beds.
and both of the slept on the floor.
they liked slping on the floor.
and i liked the bed, duh.
i liked it so much, every night i'll say,
OK I WILL WAKE UP FOR BREAKFAST TMR.
and of all 6 days, i woke up for none.

the weather was friggin awesome.
like same as taiwan, arnd 13 deg


ok this was at some street.
they were selling turkish ice cream.
and nora , zac hongyong and i wanted to try,
that guy kept disturbing me,
he put the whole ice cream above my head and i was so scared.
k i didnt like the taste. its like starchy and chewy.
i only had 2 bites and hongyong told me its made of goat milk.
YUCK.
so i ate the biscuit then i dont want alr.
its was so cold, i held the ice cream for 20 mins and it didnt melt at all.
can just throw on the floor and pick it up again.
hahaha.
end up he ate the rest of it -.-


LOTTE WORLD!
it was damn awesome,
and the most daring day of my life.
we took all the scary rides everrrr.
woohoo.
haha.
and the ''warm up'' ride was the pirate ship.
the friggin big ship thingy.
holy~
and we took the monster indoor roller coaster.
quite scary, my hair got untied as well. haha.
and we went outdoors


there was the big gyro drop, gyro swing.
and this ride called atlantis, which was the best and scariest.
okay, cos that ride i sat infront.
and like i felt like i kept flying of the seat.
it was like rocket fast.
and it went in the came, and like fun fun fun.
then suddenly come out of the cave and like drop 80 degrees down.
i scream until no voice.
OH YA. my voice box came back.
woohoo.

hahaha i bought awesome shoes on my birthday.
which was the previous day before lotte world.
and i wore it the next day.
ultra comfy!
lol sound like pad
-.-


okay shuddup, not funny.
it was on fb and jaron laughed at me i feel like crying):
not the main point.
this eupho girl's called linda.
she reminds me of han idk why
ok i noe why abit.
she's a lil blonde too.
and when i like crack jokes ,
others will laugh and she'll be like huhhhhh
then i'll say the same thing, nvrm next wed you'll understand.
after like 5 mins, she comes back to me and smacks me and like, weiiiii
-.-


okay, so i did shoppping.
wow.
and im left like 50cents.
cos i bought potato crackers at 2.50 yst at the airport.
hahaha.
like only bought one shirt, and a pair of shoes for myself.
the rest were for others.
bought for mom and dad as well.
bought 3 shirts for dad.
he could fit ! so proud of him.
not as fail as my sis. she bought for him L , and he couldnt button.
hahaha.
k all the stupid kpop fans (whoops)
like go there spam everytttttthing.
they like spend a friggin big fat bomb on all the CDs and posters and merchandise.
k i bought one also.
not for myself lor.
but yeah im proud of myself.
saw so much big bang stuff, yet i didnt buy any.
like not practical anw.

so yahh, i still did shopping hor for real.
there were like damn nice clothes, but damn ex.
everything is generally pricey there.
i ate a plate of rice for 8 dollars.
ate the chicken and left the rice
okay okayyyyy, the ppl the africa etc etc.
i promise when i grow up and have my own income, i'll donate a bag of rice every month to make up for it.



k thats all for today.
wait till i get other pics from friends then upload more.
i had so much difficulty unclogging my fb wall.
really appreciate every single wish from everyone.


so, im like 17 now.
i cant believe it IM SO MATURE.
*coughs.
spent my birthday in korea.
kinda unique.
but still..
ah whatever. its over anw.
im 17 yo.

feel so jetlag ttvm.
bye.

Hellllllllllllllooooo. Stonning at the airport now in korea, hafta wait. I have 4 baggages including fat sammy. So yeah, damn it. And im left with 3 bucks. Gna spam on chocolates later. Right. Im so home sick. Like for real. Idk why. I miss singapore. And rosalind ): and my pillow. 6 days really flies tho. K bye.

):
i stayed up all night till like 3am last night.
and i got my results.
its so low ):
not the , oh my gpa is 3.0 and its so low thing.
i mean literally , low.
i can cry.
i can cry like thrice and it'll still be low.
doesnt make any sense.


k.
i still havent pack finish?
omg. i am dead. seriously.
idk .
and i think im taking train or wad.
sis says shes not going.
im so sad.
ahhh


k . really will be away for 1 week.
starting from.
now.

bye.

ok..

so its in the middle of the night.
and after a week or so,
im still stuck with the same 2 hoodies in my suitcase.
nice huh.
HOWWWWWWWWWWWW ):
k i swear i will not slp until i've packed.
zzzzz.


today was..
yeah idk .
i met da for dinner.
yeah. thats all.


okay, so im like going korea tmr and like fb feeds says results release tmr?
kidding me or waddddd.
k i will fly to korea and live in denial with no regrets.
right.
im so scared ):
3 weeks ago sis said she didnt want anything.
she just passed a long long long wishlist to me 5 mins ago.
cos dad gave me 400bucks to spend.
which is like.. okay. not so much. like standard ah that everyone's bringing.
she's so jealous.
jealous bum.
hmph.
i feel lethargic.
i mean, how can i feel sleepy nw?!
i woke up at 3pm hahaha.
i loike.

wont be blogging for the next whole week.
but they said wi-fi's available.
so maybe if i cant sleep and i miss my bed i'll go to the lobby to blog.
dont miss me!
-thickskin ttm-
*awkward turtle*
hahaha.
but yeah. im gna miss my bed.
im bed sick.
i think im bringing cloudy.
bt he's so black.
imagine, he's supposed to be a polarbear.
and he's black.
i swear i dont drool on him.
lemme take my swear back.

):
im gna die in korea.
go there eat plain rice everyday.
im gna be a rice-cetarian. if it makes a bit of sense to you.
oh and i dont have sp black tee.
GUESS WAD.
you know the walking 5 million rounds around the house cos i cant find my ibm shirt thingy.
my damn shirt is with da.
i told him just nw i cant find my shirt.
and i NEED it for the performance.
he was like oh, no wonder i got 2 shirts.
my heart smashed. crashed. everything.
i like stone there for one minute.
and he said i looked like i was gna cry.
stupid life i have.


kkkkkk.
must. pack. die. ahh.
idk where to start. ):
after one whole week.
im screwed.
like okay, just rmb to bring myself, and sammy.
and cloudy.
k check! im doneee.

bye bye.

puhh poker facee.

i cant find my IBM shirt ):
i feel like crying ):
):
like pms or smth.
but no.
idk ):
i feel so sad.

just talked with rosalind on the phone.
havent done that for at least half a year.
rmb we used to scream on the phone and everything while laughing
good times man, good times.

went for band today.
well, it was damn boring.
but still, survived through it.
and then had dinner with my family.
tickets were sold out so we didnt watch johnny english.
so sad . ikr.
and i cant find my ibm shirt.
): im so naggy.
went home after that and i had my birthday cake.
sis said its so gelatin-y. but yeah.
thanks everyone (:
peaceful birthday this year. (:


ok im sad ):
i cant find my shrit really.
i looked around the house at least 5million 6thousand times.
jeez.
im so sad ):

hope everyone around me cheerup.
including myself, damn it.
and hopefully, the decisions i make would be sensible.

korea. soon. cant. wait. any. longer.
ahh
bye.

okayz.

i forgot to blog yesterday.
too tired i guess.
met up with da yst.
._.
okay life sucks seriously.
idk why everything's always going wrong.
but yeah.


okay, first SPSB said trumpets gna check-in our instrument.
and so i went to borrow the soft case from shuxian.
and like yay no more fat sammy and blah.
and like i went to meet da before meeting shuxian,
and then tiacwoo suddenly called to say we need to check it in.
and i was on the way go meet her alr.
lawd i feel like crying.
k. at least i had my tart. hehheh

yeah. and rosalind smsed me.
i didnt know what was going on.
felt kinda /:
and i was so frustrated.
cos i didnt like my bestfriend being bullied.
plus, she's never cried infront of anyone.
high ego mah, samasama lah.
i too, thought i was gna get it today as well.
well, at least it turns out that i was treated with a diff approach.
still, felt so hesitant.
idk.


k stuff aside.
I CUT MY FRIGGIN HAIR.
its so short.
lesbians have short hair.
omg im lesbian ):
rosalind here i come. hehheh.
ok eww. i mean.
yeah its so short.
like my hair grew so fast,
i wanted my sheepy hair back.
but nw its like ):
i look like kindergarten person.
k im sad.

i want nano nano candy.
ahhh.

gna watch johnny english tmr with family.
my birthday kinda thing.
wow.
like once in a bluemoon it'll ever happen.
woo smurfs.
dont mind watching again.
but my dad will zzzzzzzzz very loud.

ok IM SO FRUSTRATED.
going for band tmr.
thankfully i havent bubble wrapped my instru.
if not idk hw im gna play.
hahaha.
ok bye..

F-face.
hahhaa.
leon taught me that today at work.
yeah, that's the kinda stuff im learning.


really in a foul mood now.
trying so hard not to think.
urgh , whatever.
i'd rather not meet him till im back from korea.


RECEIVED CHLEO'S LETTER JUST.
so cool, all the way from cambridge.
well, she wrote me a compo.
and double paged compo.
so honoured.
rmb she was the pro that wrote the best compo, everrr.
like it was so damn good that i think when we were sec1 or 2,
it was like published or shown to the o-level students as the model essay.
wooohooo. if she becomes famous like jk.rowling,
ima sell my letter.
._. k kidding.

IM SO FRUSTRATED.

got some sms as well,
telling me about my poor performance at work?
oh well.
me and rosalind, are a pair.
we came together, and will leave together.
that's all i can say.

tho, when they were having some supervisor meeting,
i had alot of fun with leon and ricardo.
like most of the time i didnt understand their hand signs.
but still, managed to figure out . somehow.
and leon has this tattoo on the back of his neck.
its exactly the same as the deathly hallows sign.
and he didnt know its the same.
so i showed him on google.
and he thought i was kidding.
he said it meant looking upon someone, cos it represents the eye of smth.
joseph said it looked like the illuminati thingy.
i have no idea what they were talking about.
oh well.
but leon's a nice person ah.

ok so anw,
band was.the.most.exhausting.prac.ever.
k partly cos i went to work,
then straight to band.
and all the songs are like ZOMG()*!@@! now.
after like 3 hours my lips still has the mouthpiece imprint.
and i've got a bruise and 3 cuts.
sound like i got beaten up.
cos i was late for work today.
and my shoe sucks. its like going to tear or whatever.
im so poor . and yeah i slipped a lil and knocked my arm.
it hurts so bad ):


had alot of sorting out after band prac.
cos its like the last practice before we head off the korea.
im brought 3 straight mutes home under my care till korea and back.
thankfully i wasnt made to transport the music stand.
did i mention my luggage fits my 2 hoodies just right, and nth else?
i still havent figured out actually.
should i bring the bigger-than-me backpack?
like sis can bring her 1month supplies when she went backpacking.
but still, she like wear the same thing for 5 days straight. eww.
k thats not the point.
HOWWW.
shuxian was willing to lend me her soft case (:
so sweet i love her.
then fat-ass sammy will be like 2 kg?
he anorexic. haha.


k nvrm.
procrastinator no1.
i can wait till saturday to panic

k bye.

sorry.
i went to the album i always go to,
close my eyes, and double-click on it randomly.
that explains it now.
i feel exactly like this.


its been 2 months.
2 months.
why didnt you even say your goodbyes?
and yet, im not over it.

someone told me,
dont bear grudges, learn to let go.
the point is, im not even bearing the grudge.
its not about hatred.
its different.
that feeling.
indescribable feeling.


i dreamt of you last night,
and woke up crying.
didnt even sleep for the rest of the night.
kept crying and crying.
for what. im so stupid.
and i had to get up at 6am, what a bother.
so friggin sleepy.
nw i feel awake, idk why.
just took sleeping pills.
they dont seem to work on me anw.

i knew i shld have watched the ducks being blown away and go back to slp.

k bye.

i. miss . everything.

AWESOME

k this is the duck thingy.
i swear i'll watch it whenever i feel like crying.
hahahaa soooo cuteeeeeeee.
k im still laughing after 12 hours.

2 words yo, 2 words.
perseverance. absolutely repect that mother duck.

and humour.
HAHAHHAA DAMN MY STOMACH HURTS FROM LAUGHING

omg, i feel so guilty.
i skipped work today.
i didnt even know i had work.
i was given the wrong schedule.
and i think faz was pissed off.
slept at like 3 yst,
and was awoken by the call.
eventually went back to sleep tho.
having band later.


k so like wierd max.
was awake with sis last night.
we were like watching funny animal vids.
so damn cute.
okay i found smth cuter than the manatee vid.
ducklings getting blown over.
so friggin cute!
spent like 2 hours rofl-ing.
and the goldys were super cute.
i want one ):

been neglecting benny.
so yes benny here i comeee.

initially wanted to meet da later.
but nahh. not enough time i guess.
oh well.
and im not working on fri yay :D
his mom intended to find me on fri if i work at GJ.
phewww.
hahaha.

k bye.
1 more week to korea.
kinda slow, i finally feel the excitement.
lol


''give all you can, and dont expect that much in return,
no regrets. AI YA JUST GIVE YOUR ALL DAMN IT.''

got it ;) no regrets :")

HOLD YOUR HORSES WOMAN.

ah, that's it.
really.
that's it.
my mini lugguage could only fit 2 of my thick hoodies.
fml lol.
how eh?
thank God for giving me a week for my mini brain to think.
i gta bring that mini case, what if i bring a haversack too,
and i needa carry that fatass sammy everywhere.
oh and plus an extra bag for goodies.
):
so one on my shoulder, one pull along,
carry one fatass and on the way back another bag.
which gives me the need of approximately 3 and a half hands.
what?

bitch life.
waiiiiiiiiiiiit.
i still need to carry another bag for my IBM attire.
and my tie.
and 2 shoe bags.
im a goner.
well , at least it doesnt seem like im gna bring the whole house.
i think.
i really need to sort out my priorities.
wooo, im ron weasly.
okay now really, fml.


k whatever. not packing anymore till sunday.
lol.
gna play my gameboy DS.
ikr, im so cool.
i just found it while packing my room.
and well, it was the first item i touched on.
so ... i havent packed anything else other than finding the charger.
im so cool.

Avril Lavigne - Wish You Were Here

this is the best song evaaaaar.
(Y)(Y)(Y)(Y)


hahas.
she's so different from her old vids,
like sk8er boy or smth.
no more emo punk thingy.
rmb telling jess when i was p6,
when i grow up , i wna be like avril lavigne.
and she'll be like, uh... ok...
i cant be like her anymore now.
she's so pretty.
):

but yeah,
this song fits everything.
ok shuddup xiyu.
all songs fit you so just shuddup.
ok.
fine.


sis's at home AGAIN.
i dont own the house no more.
was awakened at 12noon.
wth? that's like so early.
ok its was damn lol to wake up,
go to the living room, and hear her shouting to her own phone.
i seriously lol-ed hard.
and i asked her wth she was doing.
she sorta figured out she could voice control her phone in google.
so she kept shouting, SINGPOST! SINGPOST!
for quite a while, and realised i woke up and was staring at her all these while.
-awkward turtle-
she showed me the google results through voice control.
google said, DID YOU MEAN 'SINK HOLES'
haahhaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
she's leaking.


sooooooooooo,
ima start packing my room now,
and throwing stuff away and everything.
i dono where to begin man.
lawd i feel like crying.
k and mom told me to start packing my stuff for korea.
which makes sense, cos after today, or tomorrow
i wont have the time to anymore.
not like im gna bring loads of stuff.
ok i dono.
its gna be cold.
yay.
i hope its like taiwan.
yay.
please?
yay.

and im going without parental guidance woohoo.
for the 3rd time this year im taking a plane.
and the 4th time this year going overseas with parental consent,
but not guidance.
(Y) great improvement,
which gives me enough reasons to reason with mom and dad
for me to go to aus alone next year .
(Y)(Y)
teehee.

okay,
gna write a long list of stuff to buy for peeps.
not forgetting anyone i hope.

oh yes,
and went for zestwind's yst.
huimei gave me a ziploc bag-full of chocs.
she's so naiseee ^^
cos she went to europe the other time
and she promised me chocs.
and she really gave me yst.
the kinder hippo was awesommmmmmmme.
like kinder HIPPO.
wth is that anw.
it just tasted awesome.
but i there was this rittersport choc, cherry flavour.
i nearly vomitted. really.
y'know the fever liquidated meds you eat when you were young.
the pink or yellow thingy i'd always vomit.
yeah it tasted like that.
rmb 2nd sis used to say it tastes awesome.
but really, no. eww
i'd rather have pills.
but till now sis cant take pills.
hahahaaaa.
thats what she deserves for using up those tall genes.
makes no sense, whatever.

k *slaps forehead*
enuff dreaming.
gna pack .
omggggggg. where do i start ):

k bye.

retard(s).


nice day today.
mom and dad's 25th anniversary.
holy crap~
haha they're so old.
ikr , but yet. so sweet.
mom had to work today, but dad's off.
and like yeah.
so we're going to imm later to get a present for mom.
wierd ._.

i told da about my parent's 25th anni.
he was like blur.
i thought 2nd anniversary meant so much alr.
-.-''
me : my parents are celebrating their 25th anni alr da.
him: omg... so long alr? goodjob darling, 23 more years to go.
me : HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........
him: WHATTTT???

hahhaa whoops.
mr bojangles.
zaa zaa zummm.
listening to oldies again ^^
so old, my dad havent even heard of it.
bet he was a nerd like me in school.
hahaha.

had awesome honeydew milkshake yst.
like whoa.
been 10 years since i had one.
or at least since school closed for the hols.
hmm.
and now dad's like cleaning the entire hse.
and getting pissed cos me and sis' stuff are everywhere.


wanted to go cycling with rosa tmr.
1. i think we will be too lazy.
2. she's too lazy.
3. my bike's huge, and the basket is gay.
4. intuition tells me it will rain, cos i say it will.
5. havent cycled in a year, i'll get leg cramps.
6. going gym tonight, so i'll be too tired tmr.
7. tmr's the only full day to rot at home.
8. all of the above.

okay good, i think i've found enough excuses not to go tmr.
-dramatic-
ahhh, i dont feel soo well~
okayy ^^

i amaze myself sometimes, honestly.

so, plans tmr..
to stay at home and rot lika boss.
woohooo.


ohoh, and dad bought me the brushes.
for washing sammy.
yayyy.
dont have silver cloth tho.
so needa get one before my sammy gets a bathe,
then head to korea.
or shld i bathe him after korea.
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
ah well.
he shouldnt shower at all .
im lazehh.


k bye.
{:

ahh this is the life.



out with rosalind todayyy.
eh ehh.
*snailll*
had alot of fun, cos were acted.
k no, we were stupid and lame.
like laughing all the way.
bt shoppping ah, shopping
so i got a lil impatient after awhile.
stilllll, we had fun.
AND I HAD TOMATOES TODAY.


praise me please.


please????
pleasy please?
really, first time eating tomatoes.
i rockkkk ur socks.
lol.
and we walked around suntec, and peninsula,
and then somerset.
like ... AGAINNN...
and i didnt go into H&M again.
jeez.
and this die fledermaus takes so long to loadddd!
we're playing that song in korea.
very fun.
but like confuse oni..



dont feel like blogging today.
blogging much.
idk ah.
ok gna go band tmr.
and slack at home on mon and tues.
yyyeaaahhhhhh.
and work from wed to sat.
so lonnnnnnnng.
ima die.
die in the milk fridge.

k bye.

i feel so cheated and betrayed.


LAPTOP'S FIXED NINIs.
this is awesome.
nottttttttt.
cant believed i lived without my laptop for so long.
at least i got my stupid emo playlist,
minus the jaychou songs , back.
thank goodnesssss.

so much to say.
yet when i look through those pictures,
im speechless.
and its as if the whole SP's going to superstar virgo or smth.
like everyone's going.
screw that place anw.
it sucks.

alright, korea trip soon.
will definately hope that's truely the place
where i get to forget my problems and worries.
and when i get back, i'd still be able to grab back the reality.
and everything i have will still be intact.
no high hopes, no changes.
im comfortable with that.

)(*)*#@!*@(*!*@!@
now i rmb what i've been wanting to post for a very very very long time.
big bang's performing during the f1 concert!
on the 23rd september.
whyyyyyyyyyyyy.
best part, i'll be away to korea while they come to spore.
whats the purpose in going korea alrrrr.
WTFLOLFMLBBQAFKWTHCNA.
jeez.
urgh.


did i mention my laptop's fixed?
ok i did.

met up with muh gurlfriend todayy.
awesome.
went to lepak2 at our place.
like OUR place.
how cool is that.
im so cool right.
actually its just underneath some hdb flats.
umm.
was crapping with her and smsing da at the same time.

WJ: have fun okay?
me: hahas. alright (:
WJ: wait, no kissy kissy hor.
me: HUHH WTH WAD. you're a lil too late.. we alr...
WJ: !!! :(

hahahaaaa. and i showed rosa that.
she was like uhhhhhhh wadddd.
and like she suddenly asked,
rosa: eh what if i suddenly kissed you . and its lasts for 5 mins.
me: UMMMM. -does awkward turtle sign-
hahaha. the awkward turtle sign is damn cute.
you only do that when it gets awkward.
haha lame.
yeah, and we talked bout everything, and life.
and then we went to walk around westmall,
which was damn wierd.
like not like we never walked there before ,
for a million times in fact.
and we had wierd icecream.
like kitkat and peanut butter flavour.
and she wanted to buy men's jersey.
which made it very very very wierd.

i headed back to school.
fixed lappie, and went for band briefing.
abit excited for the trip alr.
abit ah.
hahaa.
but cant imagine eating kimchi everyday.
i mean, who eats kimchi everyday mannn?
ok, besides the ppl who makes the kimchi.

ohhh and i had to measure sammy, with his case.
fatass omg.
he's like 4.9kg.
no wonder i get aches all the time.
time for him to lose weight damn it.
i feel so strongggg.
-.-''
and i promise sammy to get him a name tag.
ok i will get him a name tag, he deserves it (:
noola, just scared i'll lose him on the way to korea.


meeting rosalind tmr again!
she's going some game thingy and ends at 2.
so i'll meet her and go shoppinggg.
SHOPPING~ *does twinkie fingers*
k stupid. i hate shopping.
but things dont appear in front of me, sadly.
k name tag for sammy.

brian just smsed me out of the blue.
haha!
been so long since i talked to him.
big brother (:


and i got no work till thurs.
shiok or wad.
poor shiok bitch.
lol.

k bye.

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY HANNAN WONG!
specially to my gay sister for lifee.



its friggin gay and cute .
who cares.
rather odd today.
i knew 8th of september meant smth.
just could figured out till the 23rd hour.
hahaha.
rmb we were the best of buddies in sec1 and 2.
tho we lost connection on the way.
but still, band mates and everything. (:
yeah and we called ourselves (me, hannan and daren)
the 3 blind mice.
idk why.
i was taller than hannan by 1cm then.
so the 3 of us were technically the same height for the time being.
till they shot up.
and im like ._. k.
sad life.
i hate boys.
and puberty.
yeah. oh. and i was childish back then.
exceptionally childish.
like the 3 of us would scream and everything.
with my dolphin-pitch scream thingy that would
deliberately turn everyone at the echo-y stairs deaf.
hahahaha. what ta do~
too bad im mature now.
*vomits*
i thought my voice broke, cos i could no longer scream like i used to anymore
was proven wrong the other day tho.
when there were big waves and da, his bro and his bros gf were playing by the waves.
and there was thing huge wave.
really huge.
and da was facing in my direction ,
while i faced the sea.
so he didnt know there was that gigantic wave.
and i screamed. well too bad for him. too late.
hahas.
guess scream boxy will come back when it needs to.
hope its back when in in lotte world at korea :p
and dayummnnnn.
wont be going to lotte world on my birthday.
its on the 24th.
so will be performing somewhere in some university.
sheesh.

no work today.
feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
but im a poor bitch.
soooo. went to the gym in late morning.
i actually got up!
*pats self*
great accomplishment.
omg. my knee caps felt so rusty.
like could run much.
and had stitches.
omgggggggggg.
k at least it lasted for an hour.
went to meet da after that.
of course i bathed.
went to orchard cineleisure.
we , ok no, he , ate his fav noodles.
yuck.
noodles for babies.
and we watched crazy stupid love.
the guy is indeed, HOTTTTTTTTTT.
he really looks photoshopped.
hahaha.
and da was jealous.
awwww.
i think its one of the great movies ever.
its real funnyyy.
like Grown ups.
haha.
too bad stomach doesnt like me having fun huh.
had gastric probs again.
im practically getting gastric probs everyday.
which , duh, sucks.
stupid meds.
bet i'll get that for the next 3 weeks everyday.
what'd you want me to do man.
im alrd eating proper meals and getting fat.
its like as if i will only not get gastric if i eat 3 bowls of rice.
stupid.

soooooo yeah, the movie was great.
we walked past H&M.
hell yeah was there alot of ppl.
HAHAHAHAHA and da didnt know what was H&M.
lol. he's 3 days slower than me.
and same reaction too.
''HUH HIGHSCHOOL MUSICAL AGAIN?!''
._____________________________________.
damn funny lol.

oh yeah, the chain for my necklace broke.
jeez..
i feel so naked without wearing it.
been wearing it since december in sec3.
long time aye.

okayyy,
meeting rosalind tmr ehhh.
for awhile.
lepak2.
then go back school to hopefully fix the damn laptop,
and go for band briefing, and then band.


okayy, bye.

Glee, Jesse & Rachel-Jar of Hearts from Glee

this is the vid.
so heart-wrenching right..

laptop's still dead.
bloody hell.
bloody spice.
bloody life.


i really miss my laptop, with my songs in it.
and plus, i wrote down everything i wanted to do for my hols.
by the time its fixed half of the hol's gone alr.
which obviously, sucks.
i dont even have a proper earpiece.
i feel so uncomfy ! *(&#@(*&#(*@
yeah yeah i know i know, appreciate and live with what i have nw.
ikr.
gratitude.


i just suddenly feel so..
so angry or smth.
im not sure if its called anger.
just smth that's been bottled in me for quite sometime.
and feels like its gna explode.
you think im over it huh.
you think im over everything that's happened?
you think im over the polaroid,
over the hangouts,
over looking at the moon together,
talking and sharing things,
our worries and problems.
you are wrong.


-again-
rosalind: WHATS YOUR FRIGGIN PROBLEM!
me: YOU'RE MY FRIGGIN PROBLEM.

*ppppppps. im not talking about my bf for goodness sake.
everyone please stop asking if its him.
innocent boi. *

feel so no-lifed.
and everything.
partly so troubled and so worried.
can life go any lower?
i mean im not asking you to.
today had work again, for the last time this week.
thank goodness.
the others had a meeting.
so i worked with ricardo alone.
he's deaf and mute.
i dont depise him or anything,
no one does.
in fact, i so much look up to him after working with him,
getting to know him better and everything.
i mean , he doesnt live like anyone of us does.
yet, he acts like he's just one of us.
he cant hear the oven sounding off, yet he knows when its done.
he cant hear the kissing sound when steaming the milk, yet he's able to do a latte.
and lawd, he's so hardworking.
really wonder how's his world like and everything.
yep, im starting to count my blessings again.
and there's another staff, leon.
he's real nice.
tho he's not hot like what rum claims.
but ah.
he has this harrypotter tattoo behind his neck.
i wonder what it means..


so, been listening to jar of hearts these few days.
the glee version, so much nicer than the original.
like as you listen to it like, a million gazillion times,
the meaning of the lyrics will eventually sink in.
even though im like stonning 60% of the time.
cool huh.
really, everything just fits in perfectly.
makes me have this sour feeling.
urgh.


k, meeting da tmr.
i wna watch crazy stupid lovee.
yay.
im broke.
and i bought weijuan sticky sweets for her birthday today.
its on fri, and we have band.
its called sweet enchantment or smth .
like sticky candy, but a million times the price.
idk why.
and you get to see the pro make the sweets.
so cooool.
k.

can sleep lika boss tonight.
im so sleeping at 11.
and waking up at 2pm.
lool, just joking.

Ps, you'll be back only when you need someone. Or perhaps just bored. Why do i feel so affected again. I feel like a freaking toy again. An ugly unwanted piece of crap toy to you, and everyone else. Mind reminding me why you're treating me as though we've went through nothing in the past, just ordinary school mates or smth? Im not even mentioning friends. Did i hurt u or do anything to deserve so much of this? Hell yeah i deserve all of it.

Who do you think you are?
i dont know.




im so friggin sleepy and tired.
the meds gives me gastric problems, which sucks big time.
wth man.
life is unfair.
using someone's laggy laggy laptop.
description of the laptop fits its owner perfectly.
ah well~ what ta do..

k. sleepy.
k bye.

alright,
lappie will be fixed tmr.


today was fine.
just joking, fml.
its not fine .

tho , went to meet up with huijuan huivoon and melisa.
like awkward at first but alright after awhile.
so... we went to lot1.
i felt so amazed. cos its like my 3rd time going there in my life.
lol.
and huijuan has been there like 10 million times as she claimed.
ah, what ta do~
met up with huivoon first.
like, at first i told her i was gna be late.
and she replied me as though she was angry.
turns out she was still at home.
what an ass. pfft.
first we went to buy huivoon's understuff.
which made it super awkward i felt like hiding in those undergarments.
eww no , okay.
then melisa came.
and we went to pasta mania's to eat.
like not nice at all ):
ok . i barely had a few bites.
and yep, returned polaroid to oli
and went to walk around.
like slack ttvm until got nth to do.
hanged around for awhile, then they went back.

went to the doc's after that.
with huivoon.
please recover.


tmr's gna be a long long long day.
long long long long long day.
k .
emphasizm. lol.
work at 8am.
like opening.
omgg. that's worse than sec sch ):
i gta wake up at 6am.
and like take a cold bath in order to be 10000000times awake.
and squeeze into the bus with the damn lousy earpiece
and not good music i can cry.
i feel so uncomfortable with bad music.
feel like blasting my music to everyone lika boss
and people will swear at me.
and throw eggs or smth.
k. phew.
but yeah.
and after work, can slack for quite awhile.
go back to SP. (finally) to get my lappie fixed.
and then head for band, which would end approximately at 10pm.
and i'll go home and die and wake up the next day for work again.
where's mai life.
lol just for 2 days and im grumbling.
lawddamn it.

k wed's work,
thurs meet da, and fri rosalind, then band.
woohoo.


you finally contacted me after a month.
feels empty.
doesnt feel like the old me anymore.
im not worried anymore.
wont believe.


LMAO I THOUGHT h&m was highschmusical.
bye.

sis is in the bathroom.
kkkkkk typing fast mode on.
right.


kkkkkk damn tired.
work today.
i work 8am.
jeez i was late.
cos dad sent me to vivo.
and i overslept, and he overshot the route.
by 10 mins.
so yeah.
like tired much.
and the peach tart from han's is nice!
like.. han's cafe.
k and its cheap.


got caught up today.
just that lil thing reminded me of u.
imagination ran wild and whatnot.
i couldnt concentrate.
felt like a mess.
plus i was exhausted.
im sorry.

oh yah forgot to mention.
played tennis with sis yst.
tmr morning heading to the gym.
work ppl say im getting fat.
i feel like committing suicide.
lol.
i feel like kicking myself.
or disowning myself.
yah k.
needa get up early fatass.

band on tuesday.
work too.
gna like die..
but woohoo! missed band much.
going korea like next next week alr, so fast.
and im watching billy elliot now.
for the second time.
rmb pokes said billy elliot is hot?
dudette, he was like 11.
and either she like billy elliot or voldermort.
equally wierd choices.
missed the chance to meet my pokes that day.
will meet up with her soon.

going to meet huivoon huijuan and melisa tmr.
heeheeehee.
k they wanted to go vivo.
i swear i nearly killed myself.
i like everyday go.
im so sick of that place.
i can close my eyes and walk in and i'll know if i bang the door.
that doesnt make sense.
ok she's getting out of the bathroom
bye.
ahh.

k bye.

my hair makes me look electrocuted.
lol.
miss miss miss them.



okay so,
i skipped blogging for a day.
great accomplishment.
no choice ah, stupid lappie.
the more i curse the more it'll die.
so im sorry.
how's life?
if anyone ever asks me that now i'll punch them in the face,
step on their toes,
and throw carrots at them.



life pretty much sucks now.
i thought i didnt need you.
i was wrong.
i need you more.
and yeah.
whatever.
everything pretty much sucks .
everything.
k im repeating.
its emphasizm.
my face sucks, dumb allergy and whatnot.
i feel like burning my face with kerosene.
just disown me. i understand perfectly.
fml.
started working now too.
im so fuggin blur at everything.
and i suck.
back to square one again..
somehow i cant find the courage .
ok, i even lost the little little tinsy winsy bit i used to have.
i cant even like converse with others that i dont know of.


so friggin useless.


k yah,
last few days was wierd.
cos i had this wierd nightmare/dream of smth.
that da bought me justbeats.
and im like holy crap when i woke up.
cos i myself didnt know what that was.
so i went to google it when i woke up .
like whoaa.
and when i looked at it,
somehow i badly wanted it.
BADLY.
like go online and search for it.
gna pay alr or smth.
*slaps*
haish.
finally understand how girls feel when they want smth badly from window shopping or smth.
k not like im not a girl.

but i used to find that like. irrational. HOLY ~ IM IRRATIONAL.
):
ok yeah, i took quite sometime to get over it .
get over the *i want justbeats badly,
gives everyone the puppy eyes hopefully someone will buy it for me look*
ah bitch life.
like got so excited over it.
and reminded myself im left with $20.60
to last till 16oct2011.
k i bought an apple cinnamon muffin today.
and gave $1.60 to charity.
i think i should open up a charity drive.
kindly donate to the poor and needy chuaxiyu.
thanks.


korea in 17 days! wow.
so fastttt.
k not really .
jeez.
i want my skull candy fixed.
urgh..
kinda lost the interest in blogging.
like used to meet up with you at night.
and then i'd be so eager to blog when i get home.
situation im in is kinda shit.





fml.

That point of the year where i embarass myself.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY 17th birthday DEAREST JESS.


andddd......
tadaaaaaa.
seee, i promised to embarass you and I.
and i think i alr did.

holy~ i look like a bear.
feel like copying and pasting everything i said last year.
but nahhh.
okay. we've been friends since p2.
thats like 123456789 years.
whoaaaaaaaaahooo.
and we've been like bestest of the best best friends since p2.
with weiying and all.
used to go to your house.
and you took out the barbie with that motorbike
and im like -______- face.
act cool oni.
actually i think i wanted to play with it.
i was just too cool y'know.
ikr.
and like we'd eat alot and everything.
i have absolutely no idea why i didnt die in pri sch.
i cant even count the meals i had in a day.
like wake up eat, recess, lunch, home(teabreak), dinner, supper.
lol.
k anwwwwwwwwwww.
wishing you all the best in everything.
and we can still remain in contact for a long long long long time.
and i'll call u and han and pokes for movie marathons at my house.
honestly when i think of kfc i think of you.
cos you and weiying forced me to taste the friggin chili sauce with bandito in p3.
and i hate you guys for life.( kidding)
i will rmb the chili taste for life also hor.
and you always gobble the zinger bread and leave the fried chicken for the last.
i have no idea why.
jess oh jess ~
so i hope you wont ever ever forget me,
cos i love you ttvm.
and like i have nvr ever hugged you in pri sch.
cos it was so un-cool.
and if we hug now it super duper friggin major awkward.
so yep.
you can forget about hanxinying.
just rmb me can alr (: 0 ---->angel.
i love you jess .
xoxo.





okok.
today was wierd.
alot of ppl's birthday today.
idk why.
so happy birthday jess(again), melisa, brandon, sathia and mr ahmad.
sheesh.
hmm supposedly suppose to start the day off well and everything.
suppose to go back to bukit view and catch up with everyone.
like first time pokes wont call me and i wont be saying ,
'OH CRAP I OVERSLEPT'
instead i got ready and everything.
so confident.
very confident, about to leave hse.
and saw the amount of miss calls from her.
she say no need go liao.
cos we wont be even seeing the teachers.
-___________-

jeez.
ok lah, end up still met up with da.
he's beginning to sound like a woman.
like asking me if he's fat.
duddddddddde.
ok so we went to wm and like old times.
we'd sit at the food court, i'll stone and watch him eat.
we used to do that everyday after sch last time.
haish.
ok so.. i was just thinking of you
when i turned my back, you just appeared.
i prayed and prayed, when i turned back, you disappeared.
as if i was being delusional.




k anw,
we were like back to sec sch times.
even stupid-er.
we were like debating about watching cars2 or smurfs.
smurfs better righttttt?!?!
who will watch cars at this age you tell me.
sheesh.
i bugged him till he started singing the smurf song.
haha so duh, i won.
we went to watch smurfs.
so naiiiiiiiisssssssssseeeee.
and they're damn cute awwmann.
i want oneeee.
cuter than stitch.
stitch so ugly. lol.
ouch han.
k then we went to walk around, and went home.
having work tmr eh.
but at 12pm.
quite a good timing?
idk.
but yap. slping alr.
im sucha pig.
meeting huivoon huijuan and prolly melisa on monday!
yay!

i smurf you.


bye.
hahaha