one of the worst mondays ever.


felt so friggin exhausted.
so hard to stay awake for the second last lesson
and couldnt take it anymore,
so i went home without attending the last lesson.
kinda relieved i did, bet im gna die tmr
cos i cant catch up with lessons.
but hey, i'll try.


feel so disappointed and everything.
idk.
its just a typical one-of-the-many-days.
where i'll just feel empty.
again.


what's going on.


sometimes im in the bus on the way home
and i start to wonder,
did i even enjoy my day?
or just plain wasting my days with a fake smile.
at the end of the day i realise, as always.
i dont feel happy.
really hope i wont waste much of my life anymore.


alright.
blogging is the first step to wasting my time i tell yer.
band tmr.
not so enthusiastic.
gna be like tired.
look forward to wed then.
no-school-day.



(Y) , literally.

bye .

Dear God,



why should life be so hard? why cant we all live happily, not work , not study.
just watch as the grass grow, and drink milk from cows from a straw.
why must life be so difficult?
why'd you know it's so hard for me to make friends,
and yet you make me find a friend, whom i thought i could rely on,
and take that friend away? i mean, if it's meant to be april fools,
its not really funny.
i wish life was better, much.


love.




its sunday alr.
i think , this is one of the fastest weekend ive experienced.
and tmr's monday.
here it goes again...
kinda dread going to school.
makes me feel miserable.
plus, gened's the first lesson.
makes me feel so useless.
guess what?
there's been 2 lessons so far.
and i've attended those 2 lessons.
and sp sent me a mail, warning me about my attendance for gened pitting below 75%?
you kidding me???
screw gened.
screw my life.
better be off doing nothing but stare and wait.

k bye.

alright.



rainrainrainrain.
and im the only one awake.
finally, the weekends.
feels like the second weekend alr,
since wed was a holiday.


mixed feelings now.
da say its, rojak.
idk why.
day didnt start of well again , as usual.
had hard time getting out of bed.
eyes were ._. all the way till 10am at least.
had to go to school for stats. quite interestinggggg
until my friggin laptop decided to hang,
not cool at all.
i had to re-do everything.
and plus, da and i were abit cranky ah.
ok i was cranky.
ended up squabbling a lil.


went home, and watched teeveee.
awesome.
havent watch tv in years now.
(O:
yeah and head for bukitview.
it friggin rained once i attempted to step out of the house.
and jaron was like ()*)(#@*)*#)@!!
cos he was bored . damn bored.
and da called, said he's coming along too.
then i like, k lorrrrrrrrr. suibian.
wanted him to come badly tho.
waste of time to go back anw.
i got sammy wet. for nth.
stupid life.
turns out they were playing standard of excellence.
if you dont know what i mean, you'll be like wahhhh sound so cheam ah
its like doh doh doh re mi mi, re do re mi do. kinda thing.
zzzzzzzzzz
explored around school, went into classrooms.
and went home, da followed me home.
he actually volunteered to go up to my house to say hi to my mom.
end up he was stuffed with food , curry, noodles, 7-up.
hahahhahaaa.
and then we went for dinner.
he forced me to finish my rice, i didnt tho
felt kinda sick, i puked.
and my eyes were red.
he thought i cried lol.


k oh yeah,
forgot to mention.
im broke. officially.
the 200 bucks thing for the year?
im left with 16 bucks.
went to the docs with rosa yst.
and then we somemore go marche.
wts. hahaha.
k no lah, we bought the awesome bread.
and went to the basement restaurant to eat
and then bought awesome apple tea.
and had bread and butter pudding.
and took pictures. we must be crazy.
and we bused home.
i skipped band for the first time.
felt bad, but i had my reasons yaw.
the doc's was necessary.
marche is like the awesomest place ever.
i promise, after i work during the holidays and earn money,
i'll bring da there. his fav baked potato. yuck.
or yum. hahas



k lah, its only 1230am and i feel so damn tired alr.
gna be good this weekend and stay home.
rot at home. my forte (Y)


its smelly daren's birthday today!
HARPIY BIRSTDIY LONGDINGDONG.
HOAP YEW'LL RILLY HAF FON TOEDAE
AEND GREOW TALLER, AEND EET MOARE YEW WHORE.


k bye.

birthday


msn


messages


netbook


through my eyes


finger twister game.


meet up.


westcoastpark


heart.


cruise


arcade





magaritta.



topdeck



lift



double decker bed



back to life



soyamilk



facebook





no heart.

as if those made sense.

LIFELESS.


where's the meaning to it?

From strangers to friends ,
to closer friends, best friends.
something happened in between.
and then strangers.
right now you're sitting just behind me.
and it feels like i've never met you before through these 6 months.

midnight may 2011, 1203am.,
i randomly talked to you on the usual chat web
not realising it was your birthday.
everything feels like a dream.
we had common topics.
and could mostly talk about everything.
it felt like you were the only person i could talk to ,
and share my problems with.


mid june 2011, midnight.
we met up, chatted so long for the first time.
i felt so much trust in you .


end of june 2011,
we stopped talking altogether.
i dont know what happened.
no idea.


midnight , july 12th 2011.
something happened between us that would change everything
made me feel so happy, yet i knew everything would be gone in an instant.
if only time would stop then.
just then.


august , 2011.
im in deep shit.
you promised nothing would happen,
however leaving without an explaination.
i thought you were heartless.
nevertheless each time we start having little chats over again,
i feel that guilt and shame of having to think you're such a person.
yet time and time again you left.
each time i see you,
i either run or hide away from you.
hoping you'll never see the ugly side of me.


october 2011,
its been 2 months.
holidays past, still nothing.
i'd still think of you everynight , before i sleep.
wondering what exactly happened.
and why i'd never fail to be so attached to you everytime.
isit just me?
and one day, you just told me to keep myself busy.
so i'd prolly forget about everything.

i think, its time to have a good laugh now.
or maybe not.
i feel worse than before, worse than ever.
what could destroy me more?
they say time heals everything.
times heals nothing for me.
it just makes it worse.


you promised we'd stay the same forever.
and i promised not ever ignoring you.
so here's me breaking mine, friend.


i guess we're not even fit to be just friends huh.

whatever man.
i feel like steel.
waste steel..
you promised.

scream my lungs out.






sometimes, i really find things so difficult.











forgot to blog yst.
wow.
okayy.
just slacked at home yst and stuff.
couldnt sleep much at night.
bad night.
i felt like i had a nightmare.
but i didnt.




had school today.
surprisingly i felt okay throughout the day except the last lesson.
despite having to crawl out of bed and stuff,
and being late for gened, my first lesson of the week.
super boring i can drool on my own palm.
eww i was kidding.
heh.
okay i survived through the lessons.
had great time today,


because i've made new great friends.
juliani and shafiqa.
haha like after half a year?

i know im slow._.
i dont know whats wrong with me tho.
i couldnt stop thinking about my problems.
i could hear you laughing and everything.
i dont know.


okay, so it was the last lesson.
like so cheammm.
and my eyes were ._______________.
so not gna fall asleep in lessons alr.
but k lah, i didnt.
phew.


cnt really concentrate jeez.
stupid 4 hour IT lesson in the morning tmr????
im like gna die or smth. ):
and i cant be late cos that wierd teacher follows the rules.
i mean, who follows rules??!?!?!
she does.
yeah whatever.
im real tired now.
gna turn in early tonight.




oh and i smsed da just now to his msia number
ask him help me buy nanonano.
he replied in a minute.
this is a miracle.
thanks for making my day (:
you see how stupid i am.


some small crazy stuff can just make me or break me.



life is like a wave, and so is my mood.

my gosh.
melanie amaro's real amazing.
you listen to her sing like can cry.
okay , i mean I.



i feel so stupid .
anw, not much today.
just slack at home.
a lil procrastination and snacking.
im really getting F_T.


haha whatever.


oh anw,
sisters bought me a new bagpack.
stone colour.
awesome.
love them much (:
but they're like crap now.
cos both of them quarrel.
i wanted to thank both of them at the same time.
they both gave me THE look.
so umm, forget it man.


havent touched benny for like a month.
more than that.
every since i stopped talking to you,
i just kinda didnt feel like touching him alr.
yeah. keep myself occupied huh?
i wish i could.
if it was so easy, nothing would have happened months ago.
nth would have happened on the 13th of july.
nothing would ever ever happen.
does that occur to you, or ring a bell?
ding. (k shitz i wasnt kidding)
feel like im in such a deep shit.
no, i actually FEEL like shit.
not literally.
sharing stuff with other wouldnt even be right.
no one would understand like you did.
given a choice, i'd still chose the same path.
not regreting ever meeting you, or talking to you on msn
and sharing our problems together.
its really a drastic change.
after 2.5 months and i still cant adapt to this,
can you believe it?
i dont know.
i can just see myself in a month or so down the road.
and it'll be MST, and i'll just be in the same state. again.
running or hiding from the both of you like some dog that doesnt deserve to live.
sometimes i feel an impulse to sms you or smth.
at times i really do, and regret it after.
i have no intention to do any harm,
in the first place. and you understand that.
understood.
and to think i still cry once every fortnight for you.
what am i doing?


please xiyu, just get on with your freaking life.
stupid sensitive girl stupid.
think about the sorrow.

Sometimes i look at him and wonder,
why am i such a failure in life?


everything goes right for him,
unlike me.



and yet, he thinks his life sucks.
the only reason would be that im in it.


i feel so...


pointless.





y'know there are days where you'll just wake up
and feel like crap, and just think so much about what's going on.
then you'll grow to think how much this actually sucks.
the situation im in.
no one would understand.
why does it feel like it's so easy for some people?


and while others just suffer.




i kinda stopped believing that life is like a wave and everything.
honestly.
probably a few moments of the peak that i'll take a glimpse of.
and then back down i'll go.
it's really unfair.
i just wna hide under the covers.
everything sucks.

CROSS FINGERS.


please please please.
still believe there are nice ppl in this world.
i still do.

im so sorry..


i feel so freaking guilty.
this is all my fault.



im gna grab that person that scammed my bf.
i'll do whatever it takes.
urgh.



I AM SO .
guilty ):

kinda miss the trombone guy.

hmm who ah.
._.


k anw things are getting worse.
cos even minghui says that i talk to myself.
its not funnehh.
i mean, it makes them think im depressed or smth.
i feel depressed already.
k im doing it again.
ah nvrm.


today was kinda bad.
slept kinda late last night?
so i couldnt wake up this morning.
like i rmb waking up.
and the next thing that happened was my mom telling me it was 720pm.
lessons ''start'' at 830am.
and it was the only lesson i have today.
when i got there, everyone was waiting outside.
was like 840 am alr.
and yeah, we didnt have lessons.
only at 1030am.
*)(&@*&*(_)!
felt so frustrated. i couldve had more sleep.
anw the actual lesson only lasted for 15-20 mins.

oh yeah.
haha. i sat by the window seat.
and there was this bird,
it flew straight into the glass panel and crashed.
some loud boom sound.
i didnt even witness it myself.
just saw some feathers still hanging in the air.
couldnt help but laugh, tho i feel so sorry for it.
wish i could be of help..


gotta work harder alr.
hope i wont get anymore Cs.
life's just so unfair.
oh well.
okay, long day tmr anw.

having broccoli for dinner.
hmm.


k bye.

do i seriously probe and answer to my own questions, HY?
hahaha
k i think so.
OMG im doing it again!
._.



first day of school was kinda crappy.
i think.
okay, first the gened lesson crashed.
which was kinda good.
the gened teacher kinda changed.
i thought for the better.
like sama2?
idk. she took out this mini basketball
and like, did icebreaker?
thank goodness we left halfway.
to go for some dumb stats for shipping business thingy.
kinda sucks.
i mean, its like emath when u think about it.
but it comes in excel with $$$$$ signs everywhere.
i dont know why,
and i dont friggin understand a crap.
self study later yaw

k then had this 4 hour break.
holy~ so long.
haha . i decided to go home.
on the way, luozi ask me to help her open her drink cap.
and as i did, the barley spilled on my lappie sleeve.
zomg ):
so sad.
and then i saw jessica !
wow. haha.
fancy meeting her there.
umm, duh. sp. haha
went to get papayamilk and we had a good chat.
for a lil while. these chats NEVER change.
even after 9years. hahas.
i got home, rest a lil while and headed to the gym.
bathed, and got ready to go back to school.
wanted to look normal, exactly the same as how i went to school in the morning.
but, i forgot to wear the same brown shoes and i tied my hair.
haha cool.
umm. yeah.
k monkeyyyyyyyyyy.
the lesson i went back for only lasted for 20 mins instead of 2 hours.
i hateeee myself.
so, mom told me to get groceries for her.
i swear it was at least 10 kg.
but i survived.

OMG i have to carry sammy tmr.
my arm hurts alr.
i have this 3.5 hour break in between tho.
cos some module was cancelled.
yayy. going home, and bathing again ^^

band tmr. finally !
hahas. can use sammy finallyyy.


tmr is going to be a great day !
pleasy please.

woo hoo!
its kinda cock-eyed.
but i love it.
so coincidental i was only left with an orange cloth?
okay, umm this is my new laptop sleeve.
(:
i spent 4 hours this evening.
and i thought it was gna fail.
but hey.
okay, unless it tears tmr while im in school,
its considered a success k.

yeah. so umm.
wooooo.
look like ugly dolls somehow.
i just realised.
no intention to copy i swear.
ah whatever.
one in a billion.

glad i spent my last day of holiday umm, wisely.
hahahaha.
and i love my mom for helping me out.
she taught me how to sew.

sewing is cool .
and not gay.
yay.


THIS SEM IS GNA BE GREAT.
i hope ):
please?
):
please please pleaseeee

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
last day to ever enjoy . ever.
i have so many uncompleted tasks for the hols.
actually i dont rmb having any,
but yeah whatever.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
):


kinda freaked out that school's gna start.
i dont want a sucky GPA no more.
time to change yo.

and my timetable's reallly really odd.
like really.
mon and tues 8-6,
thurs 10-6.
and i have this gigantic break of 4 hours on mon.
wth am i gna do?
i think i can go home, take a shower, a nap.
and then come back to sch.
dammnnn that should be tues.
then i'll be ready for band.
oh well.
and no school on fridaysssss.
da was like so happy.
ass.

random, but i just realised that westlife guys are kinda not hot?
the last time i saw their faces was when i was k2.
nice taste i had.
HAHAHAA.


im so scared for school im going crazy.
): my bag will be empty tmr.
woohoo.
and my brown bagpack's tearing apart.
naiseee.
and sheepy is clean.
yayy.


kkkkkk.
think i'll head to the gym in an hour.
fatass.

k bye.

WASSSUUUUUP.


omg look at this fat ass.
and i thought cloudy( the one on top) was fat.


met up with da on friday, to have dinner and stuff.
we talked things out, more or less.
im really confused.
but , i really hope we'll solve everything together.
i cant afford to lose him.
not money wise.
not literally.
like i know im broke.
but. yeah.
you know what i mean.
i got high ego . so not gna say.
haha. k.
i kinda.. love him.
k bye.


yeah. umm so..
we went shopping.
not quite. he shopped to buy stuff.
i was so friggin bored i could eat my own fingers.
yeah and we went raffles city.
and we went to eat xiaolongbao.
i felt like puking seriously.
the post korea trip sickness.
like eat pork there every day,
when i see pork back again in spore i wna hurl.

we watched movie.
yayyyyyyyyyyy.
my first time watching M18 movie in the theatre.
so cool right.
ikr~ haha da sneaked me in.
we watched change-up.
wanted friends with benefits, but mei you ler.
okay lah, it was kinda funny.
but like abit sick.
with like boobies and stuff.
k too much info.
yuck.


and then he surprised me with this hugeee bear.
he said it was supposed to look like cloudy.
i mean, it really does look like him.
last time... look at him now.
he's so... black now.
racist.
he went through fire and ice and everything.
no not really.
i just rmbed back in 2005,
sis got so angry with me she threw him .
and it landed on dad's fish bones.
like LOL now.
but i cried like hell cos he still stink after a year.
sad life.
now he has a papa!
cool.

was kinda afraid to take him back home.
cos he's just too huge.
and my room's so cramped up.
and he's so big my dad'll get angry cos he say waste space/money/time.
my dad really did scold.
but he hugged it on the hammock.
cute dad.

okay, so after i took cab with the huge bear to rosa's house.
and the cab uncle stare at me.
wai he so mean ):
and like rosalind alrd KO-ed when i was home.
she left the door unlocked so i could come in.
and like i KO-ed too after that.


today , we woke up at 9am.
actually i kept waking up all night.
not used to slping on the sofa.
and i feel wierd.
haha like excited and scared for our secret mission.

so we woke up, got to the place at arnd 12.
and we watched movieeee.
M18 MOVIE AGAIN!
im so awesome now.
-.-
k. lol. im not laughing.
we watched what's your number.
sounded like some stalker show.
but it was another sick show.
like they said M18.
but they didnt violence or whatsoever.
i assumed violence.
but like -________-
k it wasnt so bad.
and we ate secret recipe, and j.co.
crap im getting fat(ter)
):
kkkkkkk.
then we went home, at like 7 .
to her house i mean.
i packed up, watched spongebob squarepants.
then cabbed home.
cant imagine not being able to fit through the bus door.
GEEEEESUS.

and me and rosalind bought couple too.
no, its BFF jersey.
not really, we just bought the exact same thing.
and when we watched spongebob,
it was about a bff shirt also.
haha damn funny.
k.



(:


awww. she likes him.









im calling him mumu.





haha k bye.

haha i found this!
rmb this?
okay duh, only i do.

this was part of nasri's experimentation for O lvl art.
its kinda blur, but if u look closely,
theres 2 of every 7 of us.
one of me infront, and one on the floor.
and sean's strangling himself.
wth. hahaha
damn it , its so blur.
but so coolll.
miss the old art times ):

NO BOUNDARIES.
heh heh heh.

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
real wierd day today.
managed to solve my own problems.
like stupid anw.


so. i woke up.
and bus-ed to vivo.
the world hates me seriously.
idk why.
whenever i work i have to wait like 20mins for a damn 963.
and like if i dont work or i wait for other buses ,
the 963 will come like instantly.
k so good.
not. i got to vivo too early.
so i walked around for half an hour.
trying to find a cute bear for rum.
umm. k. so after that me and rosa went to toysrus to buy one.
so cute uh.
haha.

and we went to GJ to eat.
like wierd.
k the bad thing was rum wasnt there.
so... nvrm.
we did a present , a card, and left it in the store.
with the remarks on the card ,
''DO NOT WORRY , THIS ISNT ANOTHER RESIGNATION LETTER''
can imagine her pointing middle finger alr.
hahaha.
k and like we went to eat there.
so wierd.
how is it possible.
all the muffins and everything changed.
even the scones shrank.
umm.
wud? ):
like i was only gone for a week.
like baker's heaven waiting for me to resign and they'll change the muffins.
but the double choc muffin was really awesome.
bloody chocolatey. i didnt even finish.
and the scones like /: not so nice alr.
and the mushroom soup sucks.
hahahaa k the best part was...
rosalind : wah, GJ food damn expensive sia!
me: *poker face* ._.
umm, its been 10 months rosalind.
the finally understood.
k.
umm.
k.

so we took a train to changi.
like wierd.
we wanted to try the yellow line.
but like sooooooooooooooooooooo long journey.
k forget it.
so we took the green line.
stoned all the way.
and like, when we reached, we skytrained to t1.
sent her parents and sis off,
and then we skytrained to t3 to meet my sis.
she said she was dammmmn hungry.
its scary when she's hungry.
she can eat like 25 plates of sushi.
no kidding.
hippo.
yeah and we went to TCC.
first timeeee.
mountain tortoise.
the food there was kinda awesome.
and the drinks were crap.
had some peachy thingy.
very sure it tasted like air-freshener.
lol. i meant it.

so picked my dad up.
missed him so so so much. hahas.
and we cabbed to like 4 places before reaching home.
.______________________.


rosalind's alone at home now.
gna accompany her tmr (O:
cant wait.
plus, cant wait to elope with her.
gna get outta here, definately.
i hope we'll be safe.
soo, partehh tmr night.
yayy.

k bye. <3

im like massive googling,
HOW TO MAKE AN ENVELOPE.
k.
not funny i mean it.

im in a really foul mood now.
like really foul, i can break my own fingers.

been making a card,
using practically the whole day.
making a card for rum.
me and rosalind gna crash the whole GJ tmr.
lol.
k the initial plan was for me to sketch her face.
but i couldnt find any pics to refer to.
so we changed the plan,
i sketch OUR faces.
like booya plan.
she open then kena shock.
k yah, i spend 2 hours trying to do rosa's face.
mine was okay.
haha cheyyy.
no really.
i failed.
cos her eyes bags were too huge.
if i ignored drawing that, it wouldnt look like her.
im a failure damn it.
):


okay, major plans ahead.
im gna forget everything.
all my troubles.
all the crap.
going out with rosalind tmr.
and like shoppinnggg ~~~~
no not really.
im broke ttm.
just get a present for rum.
and then we eat at GJ.
like wierd only.
im finally like paying 3.90 or smth for the skim milk.
k thats sad.
and guess wad??
IM SICK OF PUMPKIN SCONES ALR.
haha cool right?
after like nearly a year.

so yeah, pretty disappointed in myself.
still, i managed to do a decent one.


okay , yst sucked big time.
i just dont know how to decribe it.
i cant even be bothered to explain everything to you all over again
damn it.
why are things always hard on me.
i hate this.

so yeah plans tmr.
and dad is coming back tmr.
like finally!!!!
felt like he was gone forever.
and i forgot to feed his loner fish.
y'know we only have like one fish left in the big big tank.
it looks like ikan bilis seriously.
anchovies?? yep.
and rosalind's parents are leaving spore at almost the same time.
so we prolly gna go airport tgt.
to send and pick.

her parents will be gone tmr night, along with her sis.
so she more or less will be alone.
ima stay over on friday night, maybe sat.
but we've got major plans on sat.
im like scared and excited if we're gna die or smth.
ohmyg.
k .
so i'll blog one last time tmr.
and that's it.

k bye

im really confused.


its like my vision of the path ahead is just completely blocked.
when you were gone, i still wished i had you.
yet now it feels, very much different.
i feel so uncertain and everything.
i dont know, i feel kinda scared.
and freaked out .
because its as though we've just went through nothing.
and you're perfectly alright.
of which im not.


i feel like i've been running in circles.
please dont make me feel like im gna regret the decision ive made.
i suddenly feel tired alr.

being free? or being happy?


think i've got a splinter under my toe.
k ouch i feel like crying.
i think its the splinter.


i cant wait to elope with you rosalind.
i really cant wait.
miss you so much ):

we're fine now.
i think.
im still so confused, i dont know what to do.

i feel like this.


or this...



or maybe even this.


):

life is like a wave~


stuff to do tmr :

1. go to the gym. (plsplsplsplsplsssss)
2. pack room.
3. pack korea stuff (omg its been 2 weeks )
4. umm. pack everything.

what next?




got up today.
felt like bad.
like there was this bad feeling in me.
y'know how it feels when you cry yourself to sleep at night right?
tmr's the day.
its time i face everything.
i dont know what to say to you.
kinda feel numb.

went out with shanna hy and jeremy today.
to throw all the unhappiness away, hopefully.
we went to pizza hut, spammed cheese.
like finally i get to spam cheese again.
and had horlicks milkshake from macs
and went to watch the movie, abduction.
i mean, its really nice, cos there's taylor lautner in it *grins*
but shanna and i really wanted to watch friends with benefits badly.
but it was m18
and like left with 1st 3 rows.
i honestly didnt mind.
but oh well. abduction wasnt so bad either.
and i ate popcorn and strawberries and cream lollipop.
even had popcorn stuck to my clothing when i reached home.
okay it was really embarassing.
but , i seriously think my sugar level is really high now.
i think im gna die in329322 mins.
and i cant sleep..

really had fun.
thanks guys for cheering me up ,
i really appreciate it alot.

what do i do with this empty space again?
i feel so lonely.

you left, and everyone left.
and stuffys left.
now he's gone too.


idk anymore.
feel so.. frustrated or smth.
i cant tell.
the kind of frustration whereby even think about it makes me cry at once.
true that there were great memories.
but hey, what about the pain.
i dont understand.
dont understand why you had to like do that to me 2 years back.
and make me love that day, giving me a reason to love it becos of you.
and why'd you have to crash it again?
it doesnt feel good at all.
i feel so crushed.
really regret spending so much time planning and everything.
working for you, just to make you happy.
i took half a year.
that's like 1/33 part of my life back then.
not like i want to gain some appreciation.
you could've at least say smth.
all you took was 5 seconds, to destroy me.
i took 6 months, all you said was you didnt have time.
i wished i said that too.

insensitive.


crying during the entire long bus ride, is not cool.

last day of work today.
felt kinda emotional.
dont think it was in relation to working, at least not at first.
rather busy today.
i didnt even get the time to go for a break, but oh well.
when it was time to leave, i couldnt bear to.
wanted to say bye to rum, but she was in a convo with stan.
so i waited for like one hour.
and she told me to leave, she was like pissed.
and i felt kinda sad and really sorry.
i dont know.
i asked, wont you miss me?
and she told me i broke my promise.
earlier this year, we promised that she'd keep me.
and every holiday i would return to help her out.
im sorry rum, i didnt mean to.
i felt so bad.
and the girl with the high ego broke down in the bus.
was awkward. very.
but i couldnt hold it any longer.


im really sorry for everything.
im such a damn loser.
and a bitch, like that girl said.
im stupid.

Adele - Someone Like You

)':

memories werent created for torture.


last day of work tmr.
like, fasttt.
okay not really.
this week's been like the longest week in the entire hol.
i think. i cant even rmb what i did for the rest of the weeks lol.
k. i dont feel so emotional anymore.
unlike my past failed attempts to quit and then rum persuades me not to.
okay, its like reverse psychology.
it friggin works on me all the time.
damn it.

currently having this really really bad eyeliner effect due the lack of sleep.
i feel tired, and i go to bed, rather early.
but i cant sleep like until hours.
like stone oni...
crap.

gna work with rum and jill tmr.
like scarrryyy.
ok not really.
idk ah, im really tired.
wna get it over and done with.
will gulp down cartons of 120F flat milk.
please please pleasee be available tmr.
if not i'll cry and everything.
lol. i swear i will spam milk.
like drink one every hour.
and i'll kiss the cake fridge.
and hide in the freezer.
and run to the dumping ground.
and steal scones. okay maybe not.
but yes. i will do every crazy thing.
and i'll eat creamy cocoa powder.
im gna miss everything ):

k lah, bye. ):

im so sorry i havent got time to post.
im like a monkey. or some sort.
k wait idk what im saying.


just that,
working these few days.
like on sat that day.
and then monday to fri.
5 days straight.
i dont feel so human anymore.
like my last week here,
and i kinda mentioned in my resignation letter that i would give in my best for my last week.
and like yeah. rum put me everyday?
i dont feel so well X:
haha k.
short short short post.

plus, dont really have the feeling anymore.
so . yeah.

k bye.

shut it, i should use this as DP.
then blog views= -193
hahaha
okay i know.
i swear i was like this on my birthday .


you see,
no one found out it was my birthday till like 9pm.
and when we got back to the hotel was like 11pm.
i went to bathe, and like immediately after i came out of the bathroom,
wahllaaaa.
i didnt even comb my hair.
real awesome right.
hahaha.
unglam and everything.
and then nora talked to em on the phone,
like in malay, but with all the haseyo behind.
hahaha!
oh bt when i came out of the bathroom it was alr 1240am, 24thsept.
cos korean time's one hour ahead.
still, really appreciate these guys alot (:
cant believe i forgot it was my birthday
korean candles look wierd right?
my reaction was priceless, sorta.
i had difficulty blowing em off.
and when i did like there was lotsa smoke.
and there were like 10 ppl in the room.
then everyone like screaming cos got smoke detector.
hahaha.

yeah. can see breyan spoiling the pic.

OH MO ! *ignore the face thanks.
the awesome taeyang soda i found in the 7-11 at lotteworld.
ok im lying. the soda's still in my fridge, havent tried it.
heartpain ahhh

ice-skateeeee

haha the after 30 min not melted gross turkish icecream.

step cool oni.

apologise for stealing these pics from fb.
like i saidddddddddd,
when everyone whooped out their DSLRs,
i hid my cam in my pocket.

my life sucks right now.
even the ring hates me.
I LOST MY BFF SCRABBLE RING.
im so sorry rosalind ):
you know i still love you ):
promise i'll find it.
i swear i left it by the ironing board.
now she's gna kill me.



i really miss him.
2 weeks.
we'll take a break for 2 weeks and see how things go .
i dont know..

gna meet han tmr?
like find her at AC, at raffles place.
which is friggin far.
but im gna do it for her.
to get the free disgustingly distasteful darkchocolate icecream.
which gives me a headache, yet addictive.
ahh whatever.
shall be kogepan, drink milk=beer.
i know i can do that very well.
gna meet rosalind tmr as well before that.
wonder what im gna tell her ):

okay hold on ,
will upload a lil more korea pics.
very very unglam.
bt yeah who cares.
my own blog wadddd.