sorry i skipped a day yesterday ):
was terribly tired.



so i've been going through training for the past few days.
real tough and tiring , but worth it.
and im skipping tmr, just for han xin ying.
pfft.
she better like lorax.
so exciteddd !!! hahaha sorry.


feeling really down this couple of days.
ok im lying.
been feeling down ever since i came back from kl.
r/s problems and stuff.
sometimes i really cant handle it .
really dont know how to go on anymore,
but nevertheless will try to move on and not dwell on it.
and yeah, i was in the bus yesterday going home,
feeling kinda upset, dont know why the first person i thought of was han.
perhaps she looks like a punching bag.
hahaha okay sorry.
and yeah, she had to ''fix'' her guitar as well so we're gna go town tmr.
till she just smsed me that she realised yamaha's opp her house.
seriously?
blonde max.
i love blondes.



today's training was generally re-learning frothing and everything.
yes yes, the trainer looked and crystal and i and said,
''i understand its difficult, as the chinese idiom says you cant teach an old dog new tricks''
and that guy was like telling us in a friendly manner.
crystal and i stared at each other.
the is-he-calling-us-a-bitch? look.
and then we were like, poker face.
talking about poker face.
my stomach feels odd. and churny.
drank like countless cups of milk today to cover the never ending sips of espresso.
i seriously thought i was gna die of caffeine intoxication or smth.
):
feeling very stressed and tensed up because of my personal expectations.
and adapting to the new environment.
i really miss the peeps in gj.
geez.
this programme has really been very enriching.
feel really thankful and honoured to be able to go through all these.



and to you,
thank you so much really.
thanks so much for all the wasted efforts i put on you.
guess i cared too much right?
i must be the biggest moron on earth.
i officially want to live a life of my own.
imagine the hurt i felt.
im human, so are you.
thanks for showing me an even wider perspective of how we actually are.
cold.

im sorry, im not up to ur expectations.
but why dont u just go elsewhere and find someone else better off than me?


night world.