Monday, 29 October 2018
Saturday, 17 June 2017
Make or break
Using my spare 10 minutes I have to take a break from the horrible working life.
Yes, it's a Saturday. Fortunately, work gives me the flexibility of working from home - essentially rolling out of bed at 8am to turn on the laptop and snooze my alarm while it boots up.
This week has been an exceptional crazy week. Just read Bee's blog and she complained the same haha, coincidence. Supposedly all the managers had a 3d2n retreat at Hunter valley - ie everyone except me. Therefore I was left all alone in the office and struggled to manage everything. Definitely a good experience on the hindsight because I picked up so much in their absence, and I also learnt that there there is SO much more to learn. Which is great, because once the learning stops things get boring around here doesn't it? Anyhoo, I survived, which is great.
This coming week's gonna be a short one, I CAN'T WAIT. Taking a day off on Friday to fly down to Tasmania to do some catching up. Not sure if i'm ready as of yet to relive the memories. Just typical me being weary of unknowingly opening up any wounds that haven't recovered. I'm definitely excited for a get away. Just away from the City, away from the busy life, away from work, away from that annoying dog I live with (OMG). Speaking of which, was just speaking to Bee about Tyson recently. Tyson's the dog I live with. He came with the house I rented LOL. Huge huge dog, eats triple my share, and he's a crazy pitbull /american staffy breed. It's sad to see though. Really makes me wonder and makes me not want kids and dog and any commitment of that sort. :(
It's so tough. I'm sure Tyson's great and he has the potential, just not the right environment. He gets left out like 12-14 hours a day when everyone's at work, and when he's let in at night he goes cray cray from the excitement and he destroys things, then he gets thrown out after. Anddd the cycle repeats. It's just the lack of attention and love he has, which i can only try, but not fulfill his needs. His breed is exceptionally stubborn and needy, which i find absolutely hard to handle. I'm with him alone this weekend. Let's see what he gets up to ;)
Yes, it's a Saturday. Fortunately, work gives me the flexibility of working from home - essentially rolling out of bed at 8am to turn on the laptop and snooze my alarm while it boots up.
This week has been an exceptional crazy week. Just read Bee's blog and she complained the same haha, coincidence. Supposedly all the managers had a 3d2n retreat at Hunter valley - ie everyone except me. Therefore I was left all alone in the office and struggled to manage everything. Definitely a good experience on the hindsight because I picked up so much in their absence, and I also learnt that there there is SO much more to learn. Which is great, because once the learning stops things get boring around here doesn't it? Anyhoo, I survived, which is great.
This coming week's gonna be a short one, I CAN'T WAIT. Taking a day off on Friday to fly down to Tasmania to do some catching up. Not sure if i'm ready as of yet to relive the memories. Just typical me being weary of unknowingly opening up any wounds that haven't recovered. I'm definitely excited for a get away. Just away from the City, away from the busy life, away from work, away from that annoying dog I live with (OMG). Speaking of which, was just speaking to Bee about Tyson recently. Tyson's the dog I live with. He came with the house I rented LOL. Huge huge dog, eats triple my share, and he's a crazy pitbull /american staffy breed. It's sad to see though. Really makes me wonder and makes me not want kids and dog and any commitment of that sort. :(
It's so tough. I'm sure Tyson's great and he has the potential, just not the right environment. He gets left out like 12-14 hours a day when everyone's at work, and when he's let in at night he goes cray cray from the excitement and he destroys things, then he gets thrown out after. Anddd the cycle repeats. It's just the lack of attention and love he has, which i can only try, but not fulfill his needs. His breed is exceptionally stubborn and needy, which i find absolutely hard to handle. I'm with him alone this weekend. Let's see what he gets up to ;)
Saturday, 10 June 2017
Tuesday, 30 May 2017
Back on my feet
Being MIA for a month has really made me give some serious thought on my life decisions. Genuinely couldn't be bothered simply because i currently face the computer screens during office hours and really began to appreciate being away from technology at times. The past month has been smooth sailing compared to when all these first started i would say. I even got a little getaway and flew back home for the weekend. Much impulse, but i did it and it was so worth it. Of course, what would sum up a trip more than reliving my past right - not necessarily in a good way.
It was crazy, caught up with the diploma clique (well just 4-5 of them), rosalind and bee. Oh right, and poh. Trouble, trouble. I've had so many experiences in Singapore, but I strangely did different things this time round. Never had as much Yumcha as i've had in consecutively in my entire life, went to the karaoke (thrice), and even went to MBS's casino. Whew, long story short i could practically make a hangover movie from those nights. Thankfully, i came back to Sydney in one peace, and that trip was really edifying, one of the best decisions ever.
Coming back to reality has really taught me so much, and how I really should value my life at times when I dont (pretty often). Sometimes there's just so much more than meets the eye, and all you have to do is learn to be patient and wait it out (something that I've yet to learn). It's not easy to admit, but i wear out quick, i get impatient, and I tend to think stupid. But hopefully that will all be fixed with a little tweaking of mindsets.
On the side note, I've got a promotion since I've been back. I know, it's crazy, my job position's changed thrice in 6 months. I'm satisfied, at least something is going right in my life haha. But I'm feeling more than glad that this is a sign that I'm progressing, and that the big leap of faith I took to live alone and work in a different environment way out of my comfort zone paid off. Way to go, champion (pun intended).
It was crazy, caught up with the diploma clique (well just 4-5 of them), rosalind and bee. Oh right, and poh. Trouble, trouble. I've had so many experiences in Singapore, but I strangely did different things this time round. Never had as much Yumcha as i've had in consecutively in my entire life, went to the karaoke (thrice), and even went to MBS's casino. Whew, long story short i could practically make a hangover movie from those nights. Thankfully, i came back to Sydney in one peace, and that trip was really edifying, one of the best decisions ever.
Coming back to reality has really taught me so much, and how I really should value my life at times when I dont (pretty often). Sometimes there's just so much more than meets the eye, and all you have to do is learn to be patient and wait it out (something that I've yet to learn). It's not easy to admit, but i wear out quick, i get impatient, and I tend to think stupid. But hopefully that will all be fixed with a little tweaking of mindsets.
On the side note, I've got a promotion since I've been back. I know, it's crazy, my job position's changed thrice in 6 months. I'm satisfied, at least something is going right in my life haha. But I'm feeling more than glad that this is a sign that I'm progressing, and that the big leap of faith I took to live alone and work in a different environment way out of my comfort zone paid off. Way to go, champion (pun intended).
Thursday, 27 April 2017
Back to back
Life's been real tough lately :(
Since when has it not been, lol. I just ran out of things to blog about because everything's been chaos lately. It's hard to even tell my bestfriends or even try to explain what i'm feeling. I probably can't even figure it out myself. You know that feeling when sometimes you just pray you'll get through the day without having to think about all these complicated thoughts? I probably had one of those days like 7 days in a row. I miss everything from the past. I miss how simply things like playing the guitar and making stupid music made me happy. I miss it when taking a self drive to the beach would make me happy. Apparently I recently discovered that got to the beach doesn't help anymore. Strange.
Sunday, 16 April 2017
Fluffs and bunnies
Been thinking heaps lately about my expectations in life. Not just my own expectations, but the expectations that others have of me. Sometimes it's hard to please everyone, and when I try to do so, it leaves me alone and weary at the end of the day. Was speaking to dad earlier on (finally after 2.5 months). Apparently he's been very upset at me for being ahead of myself, and not being humble enough to accept his criticisms. Isn't it always? It's always hard to hear from others that you fucked up, when you actually thought you were doing well. Even hardly to reflect and admit your mistakes. I guess I can finally admit that in this aspect, I am wilful at times, and I need to work on it. At last I set things straight with one man. hahaha
Moving on, this week has been pretty crazy. I thought we were all doing fine, and next thing i know half the department was made to leave. It's hard to adapt, but I believe it's even harder for the ones that left, and I genuinely hope that wherever they will be next they thrive. Even for that little amount of time, being with the planners really reminded me of my old man. So stubborn and insistent, but yet so misunderstood and experienced. As dad always taught me, it's always good to give others the benefit of the doubt. And by doing so, no matter how wrong they seem, I choose to believe that everyone out there has a good heart. Sounds stupid, but aren't we all just taking life day by day and ensuring we live life to its fullest? Isn't that everyone's ultimately life goal, even though we are often so quick to divert.
This Easter break hasn't been easy for me either. Firstly it happened to be grandma's death anniversary. Just reminded me about how I missed everything when she was around, how safe i felt when she was around me, and all the happy moments we shared. I wish she was here witness all my little achievements, and be my best friend again, the shoulder to lean on.
Tickets were also booked way in advance for him to fly down this holiday. Obviously before it happened, we broke up. It's been very difficult for me because even though I know it's over, I'm not afraid to say that a part of me was clinging onto some sort of hope that all my pain will magically disappear and he would once again appear and make everything okay. It's not okay. I know it's not. It sucks, but I've to get over it. You can do this. I guess if i see it in a positive way, there will no longer be any glimpse of hope. No dangling fluff of strings left attached. I pray i move on and be happy.
To be honest it's not been easy. The situation with my dad, with my now ex. The past month was so painful. Ups and downs I can hardly manage. I will be okay.
Moving on, this week has been pretty crazy. I thought we were all doing fine, and next thing i know half the department was made to leave. It's hard to adapt, but I believe it's even harder for the ones that left, and I genuinely hope that wherever they will be next they thrive. Even for that little amount of time, being with the planners really reminded me of my old man. So stubborn and insistent, but yet so misunderstood and experienced. As dad always taught me, it's always good to give others the benefit of the doubt. And by doing so, no matter how wrong they seem, I choose to believe that everyone out there has a good heart. Sounds stupid, but aren't we all just taking life day by day and ensuring we live life to its fullest? Isn't that everyone's ultimately life goal, even though we are often so quick to divert.
This Easter break hasn't been easy for me either. Firstly it happened to be grandma's death anniversary. Just reminded me about how I missed everything when she was around, how safe i felt when she was around me, and all the happy moments we shared. I wish she was here witness all my little achievements, and be my best friend again, the shoulder to lean on.
Tickets were also booked way in advance for him to fly down this holiday. Obviously before it happened, we broke up. It's been very difficult for me because even though I know it's over, I'm not afraid to say that a part of me was clinging onto some sort of hope that all my pain will magically disappear and he would once again appear and make everything okay. It's not okay. I know it's not. It sucks, but I've to get over it. You can do this. I guess if i see it in a positive way, there will no longer be any glimpse of hope. No dangling fluff of strings left attached. I pray i move on and be happy.
To be honest it's not been easy. The situation with my dad, with my now ex. The past month was so painful. Ups and downs I can hardly manage. I will be okay.
Saturday, 8 April 2017
Not good
Time flies, and it's the end of the week once again.
This weekend feels pretty different. There just some sort of ambiguity in the air that I really don't feel comfortable with :( I just need to take some time off for myself, take a step back and figure things out. Literally GO FIGURE. I really dislike it when things aren't clear, and people just pretend that existing problems don't exist. If there really is a problem, why can't they just draw the line, talk it out, and fix things. Unless that is, that the person doesn't value you as much as you value them and whatever problems doesn't actually matter because at the end of the day it doesn't affect them one bit.
This week (especially yesterday), has really taught me how selfishly ignorant people can get some times. We often carry things out with no fucks given to the consequences and how it might actually hurt others. Not good, not for the greater good. Not sure if it's the effects of getting old that I tend to be over people's shit faster than I did in the past. Good friends are really hard to come by nowadays :(
Will head to Watson's Cliff tomorrow for a breather. Time to go for a little car ride with the little car.
This weekend feels pretty different. There just some sort of ambiguity in the air that I really don't feel comfortable with :( I just need to take some time off for myself, take a step back and figure things out. Literally GO FIGURE. I really dislike it when things aren't clear, and people just pretend that existing problems don't exist. If there really is a problem, why can't they just draw the line, talk it out, and fix things. Unless that is, that the person doesn't value you as much as you value them and whatever problems doesn't actually matter because at the end of the day it doesn't affect them one bit.
This week (especially yesterday), has really taught me how selfishly ignorant people can get some times. We often carry things out with no fucks given to the consequences and how it might actually hurt others. Not good, not for the greater good. Not sure if it's the effects of getting old that I tend to be over people's shit faster than I did in the past. Good friends are really hard to come by nowadays :(
Will head to Watson's Cliff tomorrow for a breather. Time to go for a little car ride with the little car.
Monday, 3 April 2017
Note to self
“If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.”
2 Corinthians 1:6 NIV
Sunday, 2 April 2017
Duty calls
Hold your horses while i contemplate my mundane existence, sigh.
This weekend's been pretty rough, apart from the crazy weather. Being on duty during the weekends is really pretty tough. You get to work from home, sort of, and when you go back to work on Monday it makes you feel crappy because you felt like you haven't had that well deserved weekend, one way or another. I managed to sneak out twice yesterday to avoid the scene. 3 out of 4 times when i'm on weekend duties it's always pretty bad. A straddle in the terminal catching fire, modules' broken down, shortshipments, short falls. Not sure if i'm the jinx or...
Still, yesterday night was pretty great. Instead of the road trip i thought i'd enjoy - cancelled because work held up till 3pm and there wasn't a point in leaving since it was late. Instead the pair of us ended up going to some strong bier fest in town, close to circular quay. Man, it was yummy. One of the better beers I've had to far I must say. Not sure if I was thirsty, but it was so yummy and slight sweet I forgot it beer and I got tipsy fast. Managed to finish my 1L stein like a grown up as I am, they even gave a free pretzel I could cry :')
The weather was great in the afternoon, so great I had to wind down the windows and caught up with Simba for a bit cos little bitch had to collect his mail and he couldn't walk 10 mins down the road. The weather at La Perouse was great, I wished it stayed the same. Pretty exciting news in the next few weeks to come!! I can't wait for Easter break. Very much needed break. Was thinking of going on a road trip perhaps with my little car (ambitious), but Gabe says it's not worth it because I'll be caught in traffic. Then again I'm from Singapore, I'm sure I can handle it haha.
This weekend's been pretty rough, apart from the crazy weather. Being on duty during the weekends is really pretty tough. You get to work from home, sort of, and when you go back to work on Monday it makes you feel crappy because you felt like you haven't had that well deserved weekend, one way or another. I managed to sneak out twice yesterday to avoid the scene. 3 out of 4 times when i'm on weekend duties it's always pretty bad. A straddle in the terminal catching fire, modules' broken down, shortshipments, short falls. Not sure if i'm the jinx or...
Still, yesterday night was pretty great. Instead of the road trip i thought i'd enjoy - cancelled because work held up till 3pm and there wasn't a point in leaving since it was late. Instead the pair of us ended up going to some strong bier fest in town, close to circular quay. Man, it was yummy. One of the better beers I've had to far I must say. Not sure if I was thirsty, but it was so yummy and slight sweet I forgot it beer and I got tipsy fast. Managed to finish my 1L stein like a grown up as I am, they even gave a free pretzel I could cry :')
The weather was great in the afternoon, so great I had to wind down the windows and caught up with Simba for a bit cos little bitch had to collect his mail and he couldn't walk 10 mins down the road. The weather at La Perouse was great, I wished it stayed the same. Pretty exciting news in the next few weeks to come!! I can't wait for Easter break. Very much needed break. Was thinking of going on a road trip perhaps with my little car (ambitious), but Gabe says it's not worth it because I'll be caught in traffic. Then again I'm from Singapore, I'm sure I can handle it haha.
Thursday, 30 March 2017
Dots
Finally using one of the gifts from Rosalind. This thing really is cool. It's basically just an entire little book filled with dots, designed to satisfy whatever OCD-ish craze that's going on in your head. Just drawing up a couple of boxes already made me feel better. I'm a person of very low maintenance haha. This entire week has been crazy since she left. Back to work for me, and even worse I'm on this new duty roster. This means that once in three weeks I've got to get up early, go to work earlier than usual, and log back on after hours to cover any backlogs / emergencies, plus weekend duties. Really trying my best to hang in there. Gabe said it's my karma for sleeping 14 hours a day in uni when everyone else barely had 7. Sigh
On the side note, a couple of great things happened this week, including getting the iphone 7 (you have no idea how satisfying it feels to pay for a phone upfront), having late night chats, beers after dinner, nice smelling candles, I'm one day closer to the end of the week. There's always a tonne to be thankful for. Tonight's also a very cosy night, I just want to sleep in already :(
Definitely looking forward to a road trip this weekend. Have yet to explore much of NSW. I'd admit that i've been biased and never actually gave NSW a chance before saying it's a boring place. Tassie will always be number one in my heart :'( Let's just hope the weather is forgiving this Sunday.
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