Soooo....

it's 1am, and technically i'll be leaving for tasmania tonight.
How depressing.
Idek where to start.
It's like a new start for me altogether, to finally start afresh without anybody judging me and my past.
i feel like a fresh new piece of paper.
yet, i feel it's prolly going to be a piece of paper with greyed markings and flaws.
past erased, but it's just not the same?


Oh damn, just bi-polar xiyu being bi-polar xiyu
just a mix of being afraid of facing the world alone literally, and excited at the same time.
I'm freaking 19, turning 20. what do i know?
Past few months have probably been shitty.
shitty temp job, shitty people in the office.
well at least i had the opportunity to see how scary and complicated some people can be.
i probably didn't have feelings, but was more or less affected.
very much affected.
i just don't understand how one could just simply disregard other's feelings and have it their way, as and when they wish. it's just not fair at all.

Plus, so many issues i can't leave behind right here, right now.
i can't believe it. this is it? what i've been anticipating for for months and years?
i've given up, i've learnt to let things go.
things that don't belong to me and never will.
stuff that just, don't fit.
is this really the end?

Oh well xiyu, time to grow up.
I'm just so damn sure i'm going to end up home sick within a couple of hours
Before i know it i'll be spam calling and crying my way to trish, or stuffys, or mom and dad.
so useless and di neng i know :(

Tonight, i'm just busy packing everything and frantically sitting on my luggage.
i can't believe i actually exceeded 6 kilos. so dead, so dead.
ah well. last minute packing should do the trick /:


xiyunomnomz.