Sometimes the only way is to watch how one learns from her consequences.

I eagerly want to pluck the courage to finally say no and stand up for myself.

Not surprisingly, it seems that everytime i attempt to do so i'd end up in tears.

So much for taking baby steps, xiyu. You just hit rock bottom's bottom, xiyu.

I really need a rant, honestly.

I've been at this for weeks, trying to figure the never-ending possibilities.

Then again it would probably be xiyu's over thinking at its best.

I MEAN.

it's so difficult to have to explain how i exactly feel about you, or the draggy blurry directionless one-sided situation.

Plus, it's not as if you'll be exactly happy to hear what i have to say.

It would probably be gibberish.

It would probably be a senseless point of view in your face explanation for me ejecting.

Either that or you'd probably think i won't treat things seriously, or for the matter of fact, take you seriously.

Either that or i'm just some stupid kid and dont deserve to be treated seriously.

It's tiring and draggy and screwed up and all wrong wrong wrong.

Could i have just flown off without proper closure and without any thoughts of wanting to have a proper closure no matter the outcome? What am i even.

Leaving in peace is definitely gonna be the wrong mindset