Over again

This is great. I missed this fresh sheet of space.
Barely remembered it existed until i chanced upon reliving my memories a couple days back while chatting with Bee. Man , I am embarassed.

Long story short, life's been a whole lot different since i last entered this space. Last i can remember was i started a new semester of uni, just got back from the USA after summer, finally put down all the sadness i left behind in Singapore when i started uni, got a nice hair cut, moved to the awesomely awesome studio apartments that i never dare dream of having, and most important, got to know a new guy.

Well this guy wasn't new, he was a classmate, a kid, a handsome and dashing prince-looking guy.
He's more of the guy that you envision yourself with, a guy you don't presently see yourself with, but you like the idea of being together with. It's horrible, i know. Guess what? The leap of faith i mentioned 2 years back? I took it. I did it, i made the same mistake, i looked back and regretted. The relationship ended roughly 3 weeks back, and it ended terribly. It ended so terribly I would say this is the worst I've gotten hurt. Sometimes you look back at the previous heart breaks and you think to yourself, "Well shit, how did I manage to survive that?" But this? This is way worse than anything I've expected. The journey was a great learning curve, but the ending was just as if someone made me climb to Everest with him, and then pushed me off just for jokes. Ouch.

Nevertheless, everything else has mostly been great. I would like to say that my life has been pretty stagnant, but it hasn't. I finished my Bachelor's, i graduated. Before I could even graduate, i landed myself in a crazy awesome Graduate Program with the bestest company in the industry, and I alone moved to the heart of Australia - Sydney. Plus, i successfully got my visa, and i'll be staying in Australia for the next 2 years or so, hopefully more. The Graduate position also turned in to a permanent position 2 months back, when I was officially confirmed. Honestly apart from the heartbreak, I've never felt this important and wanted in my life. That's probably the bonus of being an adult (everything else sucks).

Additionally, I had my first public speaking experience when I had a chance to present with one of the corporate-level managers. Apart from the relationship ending back in Tasmania, this was hell of an experience. Returning to AMC as an alumnus made me feel really proud of how far I've come, and how great that little space called Launceston shaped me. I never regretted one bit, and I'm really blessed to have had a chance to experience living and studying abroad at the tender age of 19.

Well now I'm officially a working adult, and I obviously have not gotten my personal life and my shit together, but I will try. Once bitten, twice shy, twice I'm an idiot seriously wake up. So i'm confident i'll find someone decent and right for me some day. I really pray I won't have to go through this painful painful phase.

Was just having a laugh over my old posts with Rosalind and we managed to find her old blog too. I swear to you every post was for a different guy. Totally lost my shit. Come on women, we need to work on being independent.

Joanne, a great uni friend of mine shared something with me last night. She's such an inspiration and I'm just so proud of a person she's now become - determined, motivated and empowered. I'm just so thankful for the friends that have been so supportive and encouraging thus far, be it good or bad times. Even the friends I've recently made. Some people you've only just met and you feel like you've known them forever. Really something for me to learn there, as I do realise that sometimes I do have my short fuses.

Here it is:

“There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you let them walk. I don't want you to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, and staying attached to you... Just hang up the phone and let them walk. I don't care how wonderful they are – how attracted you are to them or what they've done for you.
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When people can walk away from you let them walk because your destiny is not tied to the person that left. The bible said, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.” (1 John 2:19) People leave you because they're not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.
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It doesn't mean the person who left was a bad person. It just means that persons part in your story is over. And you have to know when people's part in your story is over so you won't keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
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Nothing just happens. There's a purpose and reason behind everything. If they walked away it's no accident. If they left you it's no accident. You tried to make it work and it didn't work it's no accident. Accept it as the will of God. So wash your face. Clap your hands. Do your dance and keep going. A goodbye is a gift. Meaning whatever left is God making room for you to receive something better; no need to stress and be frustrated. Stop begging people to stay, let them go!”

Till then.